


Runt

by FiveStillAlive



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Forbidden Love, Intersex Loki, Jotun Loki, M/M, Mutual Masturbation, Odin is the worst., abuse by family members, in a scifi kinda way, non-sexy spanking, rapey medical exam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-05
Updated: 2019-02-27
Packaged: 2019-10-22 18:22:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 35
Words: 23,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17667737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiveStillAlive/pseuds/FiveStillAlive
Summary: Loki had always been fascinated by Asgardians - an entire race his own size!  So when Thor appeared in court, the most perfect, beautiful creature Loki had ever seen, his heart didn't stand a chance.Of course, if either of their fathers found out what they were doing, the results wouldn't be pleasant...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story I'm currently writing on Twitter. So it's a bit of a different writing style, short chapters, and a headlong, uneditable plunge forward!
> 
> Also, I don't know what's going to happen until I'm writing it, so I make no promises on the fluff-to-angst ratios.

From the time Loki was old enough to understand his smallness, he was fascinated with Asgardians.

An entire race his own size! He read everything he could of them.

Their coloring was strange, but they had hair, like his own, and lived in a golden realm, and traveled the bifrost, and had knowledge from all the realms!

How could Loki not be fascinated? He did his hair as they did in the pictures, and even created clothes in their style.

He never wore them, of course. Not where anyone might see. Father would have been furious if he knew the strength of Loki's fascination.

At least no one else knew enough of hair to understand Loki's mimicry there.

When he was old enough to attend court, he had let his fascination fall to the side. He was fourteen! Too old for such childish things!

Even a royal visit from Asgard didn't seem too exciting.

Until he saw Thor.

Thor was... the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

He had to have him. Why shouldn't he have him? They were the same age! The same social standing!

And, yes, the same size.

He had to have him!

The entire time he was forced to endure standing in court, his eyes could barely leave the golden Asgardian prince.

How did Asgardians court? He scrambled to remember. They... were bold lovers. Direct. They viewed sex as healthy, and did not like to dance around attraction. Yes.

When the kings and officials retreated to a negotiations table, Thor was left unaccompanied. He wandered out to a nearby courtyard.

Loki quickly followed.

Confident. He would be confident and forward!

Or, he would fake it, anyway. He swallowed his nerves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments greatly appreciated!
> 
> I have a Twitter: [@FiveStillAlive1](https://twitter.com/FiveStillAlive1)
> 
> and a Dreamwidth: [FiveStillAlive](https://fivestillalive.dreamwidth.org/)
> 
> and technically a Tumblr: [RunnerFiveStillAlive](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/runnerfivestillalive), but all I do is post when I put something up on AO3, anymore.


	2. Chapter 2

Thor sighed, reaching the cold of the courtyard. It was freezing, but at least it wasn't stuffy!

And it was pretty. They didn't get snow very often in Asgard. He'd never seen icicles this big!

He caught a reflection of movement, and spun around.

It was a Jotun, so small it was his size!

Did that make it a toddler? He... didn't look like a toddler.

He smiled at Thor, and sauntered toward him, in a decidedly non-toddling walk.

"You must be Prince Thor."

Thor found himself backing up, as the Jotun approached.

"Uh..."

His back hit the icicles behind him, leaving him trapped between ice and the smiling Jotun.

"Uh... Yes, I'm Thor."

The Jotun got way too close. He... was not wearing much, and-

"I'm Loki. Such a pleasure to meet you." He reached right out, and brushed back Thor's hair.

"I've always wanted to meet an Asgardian." He got even closer. Thor could feel the heat of his body. "You're just as pretty as the stories said."

Um... "How... old are you?"

He smiled at that. "Fourteen, same as you."

"But you're- Oh! Loki! You're the runt!"

Loki jerked back, gave him an angry look, and stormed off.

Thor stared after him, confused.

Guilt crept in. There had been hurt under the anger. It was probably a sensitive point, for the small Jotun! He shouldn't have said it.

But... what in the realms was all that about??

It was almost a year before Thor made his own first, awkward attempt at flirtation - horrible experience - and it finally snapped into place.

Oh!

Had Prince Loki been... flirting with him?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments greatly appreciated!
> 
> I have a Twitter: [@FiveStillAlive1](https://twitter.com/FiveStillAlive1)
> 
> and a Dreamwidth: [FiveStillAlive](https://fivestillalive.dreamwidth.org/)
> 
> and technically a Tumblr: [RunnerFiveStillAlive](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/runnerfivestillalive), but all I do is post when I put something up on AO3, anymore.


	3. Chapter 3

When he heard the Asgardians would be visiting again, he couldn't help but think of Thor.

He'd tried not to, these past two years. Every time he did, he wanted to melt away at the thought of how awkward he'd been, how he'd made a fool of himself over the beautiful prince.

But he was a prince of Jotunheim; he could not hide from such things.

Besides, now that he was thinking of it all again...

Maybe Thor had become ugly! Adolescence was an unpredictable thing!

Ancestors, please let him be ugly.

He wasn't. Damn him.

If anything, he seemed to have passed entirely through the awkward stages of adolescence between visits, and was now taller than Loki, and muscular and his eyes found Loki across the throne room and he gave him a shy but bright smile, and-

They were old enough, now, to sit in on meetings, and Loki did, across the table from the golden prince.

It was all he could do not to show his reactions. He desperately tried to get himself under control. It was not acceptable for him to feel this way about an Asgardian!

Oh, but since when had he cared what was acceptable?

This was really all Father's fault for not seeing that he had anyone his own size to associate with. Who else was he supposed to want, if not this golden prince?

Yes, that was decided. He would pursue the Asgardian.

And, feeling mischievous, he decided right that moment was a good time to start.

He extended one foot under the table, until he felt what could only be Thor's boot. Then he slid his foot up to Thor's calf, and stroked. He was inexperienced, but he thought he made his point.

Thor's eyes went wide, and flew to him. Loki gave him a quick, polite smile, and looked pointedly back toward the discussion taking place, acting every bit as if it were fascinating, pen in hand.

Hmm, yes, gem trade, interesting.

He slid his toes higher, reaching Thor's knee.

And Thor never pulled his leg away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments greatly appreciated!
> 
> I have a Twitter: [@FiveStillAlive1](https://twitter.com/FiveStillAlive1)
> 
> and a Dreamwidth: [FiveStillAlive](https://fivestillalive.dreamwidth.org/)
> 
> and technically a Tumblr: [RunnerFiveStillAlive](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/runnerfivestillalive), but all I do is post when I put something up on AO3, anymore.


	4. Chapter 4

Once they were free, Loki cast Thor a look, and made sure he saw which way he was leaving. He gave him a little smile, and casually left the meeting room.

He did not have to linger, waiting for Thor. The beautiful Asgardian's eyes were burning, as he strode toward him.

Thor caught up with him mere moments after he turned into an unused room, and his eyes were alight with passion, his every movement strong with intent, and he came straight up to Loki and-

"What do you think you were doing!?"

Oh. Anger. Well, that was disappointing.

Still, anger was passion, and Asgardians were certainly said to be passionate, so perhaps this was salvageable!

"Why, Prince Thor, I think my intent was obvious."

He growled. "Do you seek to embarrass me? To destroy the peace treaty?"

"What? No, no, nothing like that!" Well. He had enjoyed watching the beautiful prince squirm.

"You just want to get back at me for calling you runt? I was going to apologize; I've hardly had the chance!"

"No, no! I- Prince Thor..."

Fuck. He sighed, and let his shoulders sag.

"Am I doing this wrong?" he asked, dropping what clearly was not as seductive a tone as he'd hoped.

That made Thor pause, and he frowned. "Doing what?"

Ancestors. 'Everything', was the true answer. He must be doing everything wrong. Why couldn't he fit anywhere? Why couldn't he find one person who just... liked him?

"All the books said Asgardians are casual with sex. Do you not like me because I'm Jotun?"

"Oh!" Thor's back straightened with a jerk. "Oh, I... No, of course not! It's just that I don't know you."

He'd managed to top his embarrassing behavior from last time. What skill.

"And... you're Laufey's son. The treaty, and all..."

"Nothing in the treaty says I can't bed Asgardian princes." Loki grumbled.

Thor laughed.

"Maybe not, but my father would skin us both. But... maybe you can show me around?"

What a lovely euphemism! He grinned, heart lightening. "Oh yes, I'm sure I can show you a few things!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments greatly appreciated!
> 
> I have a Twitter: [@FiveStillAlive1](https://twitter.com/FiveStillAlive1)
> 
> and a Dreamwidth: [FiveStillAlive](https://fivestillalive.dreamwidth.org/)
> 
> and technically a Tumblr: [RunnerFiveStillAlive](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/runnerfivestillalive), but all I do is post when I put something up on AO3, anymore.


	5. Chapter 5

Thor collapsed onto the bed in his guest quarters, with a heavy huff of air.

That had been... quite the tour.

And the small Jotun prince was... not shy.

Prince Loki had brought him to vantage points high in the castle, pointing out features of the view - glaciers had a geology all their own, it seemed. He'd shown Thor the menagerie, with beasts huge and cold-proof. Even the gardens, and Thor could barely believe the variety!

And Loki had somehow contrived dozens of ways to lay hands on him.

Including simply groping his ass when he'd leaned over for a better view of a plant! When Thor had called him on it, he had only said it was a very fine ass.

Thor had barely stopped blushing the entire 'tour'.

He should have told the Jotun prince to stop. Politely, diplomatically, he should have rejected him.

But... he didn't want to.

He liked the way his eyes sparked with mischief and challenge. He liked his clever tongue and quickness, how he seemed to want so much to play!

And he liked the illicit thrill of sneaking around like this, knowing neither of their father's would approve.

So he had started flirting back. And Loki's reckless, unpracticed enthusiasm was infectious, driving him to being more forward than he would ever have dared back home.

He learned many things, on his tour of the Jotunheim castle.

He learned glaciers formed beautiful, colored layers. He learned snakes could adapt to icy lands if the wished, as could flowers.

And he learned that Prince Loki of Jotunheim had a very fine ass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments greatly appreciated!
> 
> I have a Twitter: [@FiveStillAlive1](https://twitter.com/FiveStillAlive1)
> 
> and a Dreamwidth: [FiveStillAlive](https://fivestillalive.dreamwidth.org/)
> 
> and technically a Tumblr: [RunnerFiveStillAlive](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/runnerfivestillalive), but all I do is post when I put something up on AO3, anymore.


	6. Chapter 6

Loki returned to his quarters that evening feeling entirely too pleased.

Giddy, even!

Prince Thor had returned his flirting! It was hard to mistake a hand on his ass.

Smiling, he opened his door and stepped inside-

and gasped when a hand roughly grabbed his arm.

He was yanked around to face his brother, and given a shake. "What were you doing?"

He yelped, as he was shaken again. "Helblindi, stop!" His brothers had learned not to be rough with him quickly, when they were young. He was too delicate! Being manhandled always frightened him.

Helblindi jerked him once more, then glared. "What were you doing with that Asgardian all day?"

Loki squirmed against his brother's grip, unable to think clearly through such fear. "Nothing! Only being hospitable! The war is long over! They are here peacefully, are the not?"

"That does not change the blood on their hands! And you were being more than hospitable!" Helblindi spat.

Loki couldn't slow his panicking heart. He hated being grabbed! And Thor had been an infant when the war ended, same as himself! "Friendly, perhaps! Am I not allowed?"

"You were seen being more than friendly!" He shook Loki again. "What were you thinking? What do you think Father would do?"

His tone finally softened. "You are lucky I intercepted this matter, before it reached either him or Byleistr."

Loki felt absurd tears spring up. Relief? Fear? Gratitude? Hel had always been the one to look out for him.

"I only..." Ah. Perhaps the tears were frustration, as it twisted within him. "There's no one my size!"

Helblindi sighed. "Better your species than your size. Besides, you haven't even been sexed yet; you are too young to court."

Loki's stomach squirmed in familiar anxiety at the mention. The sexing ritual. When it was determined which of a Jotun's reproductive systems worked.

"Who would I court, anyway?" he mumbled.

"Anyone but him!" Another shake. "You will stay here, for the rest of their visit!"

Loki sighed, anxiety and disappointment squirming within him. "Yes, brother."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments greatly appreciated!
> 
> I have a Twitter: [@FiveStillAlive1](https://twitter.com/FiveStillAlive1)
> 
> and a Dreamwidth: [FiveStillAlive](https://fivestillalive.dreamwidth.org/)
> 
> and technically a Tumblr: [RunnerFiveStillAlive](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/runnerfivestillalive), but all I do is post when I put something up on AO3, anymore.


	7. Chapter 7

Ah yes, the sexing ritual.

Unlike many races, Jotun were born with the parts needed for both male and female reproduction. And of course, neither worked when they were so young.

As they went through adolescence, tests were inconclusive; as functionality could fluctuate.

So, being sexed was an important coming of age marker. It allowed one to court with an eye to marriage and heirs - their world was too barren to allow for infertile partnerships.

But for Loki, it would determine far more of his fate.

Loki was a runt.

And runts fit into society in certain ways.

A male runt was usually adopted into a hunting circle, and treated as something like their pet. Some were well-adored by their circle. Others abused and mistreated. Loki's position as prince would protect him.

Helblindi had even implied that his circle would take Loki in! Helblindi would not let anything too unpleasant befall him.

Male runts were still often married, if their parents could somehow find enough leverage to win a mate. They could produce heirs, if not satisfy a lover.

Female runts...

Loki had no greater fear for his future but that he would be found to be female.

A female runt was a status symbol. A luxury bedwarmer for powerful lords. A fetishized sex object.

There was a great deal of porn on the subject. Female runts were to be kept safe and warm, in soft beds, with pleasant luxuries and jeweled collars. Then they were to be very obedient and well behaved as their lord wrecked them with a cock they were too small to handle.

Loki had thought a great deal about why this was such a common, well-liked fantasy. Did males simply like being able to so unambiguously "impress" their female? Was is simply the level of control they held? Or was it simply punishing runts for daring to be runts?

A bit of all, he supposed.

Loki did not know what he would do, if he was determined to be female. Flee to the wastelands? He would only be caught by some rough, uncultured male.

What he truly hoped was that he would be infertile. Roughly twenty percent of runts were!

It would be the greatest freedom he could hope for. He could be taken in by Helblindi's circle, and never marry, and have the time and freedom to continue his magical studies, and...

He had even tried to find a way to force his body to be infertile, and made a few attempts. But he wouldn't know if any had worked until the ritual.

Maybe, if he were infertile, no one would mind if he played with the Asgardian...

Quiet in his bed, thinking of Thor and his brother and what fate his father would condemn him to, he put a hand over his abdomen.

'Be broken.' he thought at it. 'Be broken.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments greatly appreciated!
> 
> I have a Twitter: [@FiveStillAlive1](https://twitter.com/FiveStillAlive1)
> 
> and a Dreamwidth: [FiveStillAlive](https://fivestillalive.dreamwidth.org/)
> 
> and technically a Tumblr: [RunnerFiveStillAlive](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/runnerfivestillalive), but all I do is post when I put something up on AO3, anymore.


	8. Chapter 8

Thor worried, when Prince Loki wasn't at the meeting the next day. Had he upset him? Did Loki not want to see him again? He'd hoped to at least say goodbye.

Then he saw the middle prince, Helblindi, giving him dark looks.

Cold clenched in his stomach.

He'd known his own father wouldn't approve of them spending so much time together, much less flirting, and it was easy to guess that King Laufey would feel the same.

But Father gave him a great deal of unrestricted freedom. And since Loki had said nothing, he'd assumed...

He didn't dare ask after the prince. If he was in trouble for spending time with him, that would only make it worse.

He glumly tried to listen to the meeting, taking occasional notes.

When it was done, he wandered into the courtyard where they'd first met, hoping.

He waited, pretending to be fascinated with the giant icicles - they were impressive. They would be returning to Asgard soon, and it might be a long time before they came back!

Maybe he could find an excuse to return alone. A... hunting trip. Research in their great library!

"Thor!"

The whisper seemed to be dropped straight to his ear, and he jerked around to look for its source.

"Behind the Dance of- Oh, well, the big one that's two joined together!"

The icicles had names? He looked around, found it, and made his way, trying to look casual.

"Loki!" He looked well! Thor reached to put a hand on his shoulder-

And it went through.

"Hmm, well, yes, I'm rather confined to my room at the moment."

Thor waved his hand curiously through Loki. "It seems that doesn't stop you."

Loki smiled. "No it does not."

Then he made a pointedly futile attempt to catch Thor's hand. "But I must say, there are some benefits to physical presence." His voice lowered. "Now all I can do is tell you you look delicious."

Thor chuckled. "You know, I think your books have exaggerated Asgardian courtship."

"Oh?" He sounded skeptical. "Perhaps you are afraid I would find you small, in comparison."

Thor laughed, too loudly for their discreet discussion. "I assure you, prince, I am lacking nothing there!"

Loki crossed his arms. "So you say. You will have to show me, to convince me!"

Thor managed to contain his continued laughter. "Another time, perhaps! I only meant that we do like to know our partners."

"And a day and an awkward introduction don't count." He smiled, and there was something bitter and sad in it.

Thor took a deep breath, and barreled on, as if changing the subject. "So, anyway, I've been studying the creation of the realms."

Loki blinked, not following this leap.

"And Jotunheim is one of the oldest. So, I thought I might return on my own, and make use of your library!"

Loki blinked again. Then a slow smile spread. "Really? We do have quite a fine library. I study there often."

"Do you?" What a crazy random happenstance. "Perhaps you can influence the king in my favor, when I make my request!"

Loki smiled. "Perhaps I can."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments greatly appreciated!
> 
> I have a Twitter: [@FiveStillAlive1](https://twitter.com/FiveStillAlive1)
> 
> and a Dreamwidth: [FiveStillAlive](https://fivestillalive.dreamwidth.org/)
> 
> and technically a Tumblr: [RunnerFiveStillAlive](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/runnerfivestillalive), but all I do is post when I put something up on AO3, anymore.


	9. Chapter 9

Seeming to want Thor's visit would have been far too obvious, of course. Helblindi had covered for him for a reason - if Father knew he was interested in the Asgardian prince he would be furious. As a runt, his freedom ran only as far as the good will of those around him.

Father had always been fairly indulgent of him, even tolerating his occasional troublemaking. But pursuing an Asgardian...

No. He couldn't appear to want Prince Thor.

But... he could suggest that Odin would find insult in his son being refused. It might be a safer course to accept his imposition on their hospitality.

Father had not been pleased, but in the end it was decided.

The prince would be allowed to visit, to continue his studies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments greatly appreciated!
> 
> I have a Twitter: [@FiveStillAlive1](https://twitter.com/FiveStillAlive1)
> 
> and a Dreamwidth: [FiveStillAlive](https://fivestillalive.dreamwidth.org/)
> 
> and technically a Tumblr: [RunnerFiveStillAlive](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/runnerfivestillalive), but all I do is post when I put something up on AO3, anymore.


	10. Chapter 10

Thor stared up the bookshelf.

It was... tall.

It seemed rude to just climb on the furniture. He was a guest here!

A guest who'd come with the possible intention of ravishing the youngest prince, but all the same…

As if drawn by his thoughts, Loki sauntered up behind him.

"Defeated by size, Prince Thor?"

Thor cleared his throat, embarrassed. "No! I just... don't want to be rude."

Loki smirked. "Would you like some help?"

"I- You can't reach any higher than I can!"

Loki looked far too pleased. "Oh, but I can."

Thor crossed his arms. "By all means, then!" Loki couldn't reach the top shelf!

Loki looked up, and Thor followed his gaze. A large, heavy-looking book was sliding itself off the shelf. It floated out, into the air, as Thor stared.

That... truly was impressive. He'd seen his mother perform magic, of course, but she had been studying for thousands of years. To see one his own age do it... He smiled up at the hovering book.

The yelped and barely dodged as it crashed down on him!

Loki chuckled. "Oh, look out. The books here are probably larger than you're used to."

Thor scowled.

But he couldn't concentrate on being annoyed. Loki was lovely, when his eyes were lit up with play. He laughed. "How do you manage here?"

Loki shrugged. "It's normal to me." He floated the book back into place, Thor looking up at it suspiciously. "Anyway, there are benefits." He started walking, and Thor hurried after him.

"To being so small? What benefits?"

"Well, for one, it drove my magical studies."

Thor frowned. "But you don't need to be small to study magic. What else?"

Loki smiled, and Thor was learning to recognize danger in that expression, even as it thrilled him. "Well, for another-" In one swift movement, Loki spun and shoved Thor between two giant columns of ice.

Thor contained a squ- manly yell, then was distracted by the small, beautifully formed natural cavern in the ice. It glittered, gleamed, and the ice formed strange, flowing shapes, and Thor stared at all of it.

"I can fit places others can't." Loki looked pleased by Thor's awe.

"This is beautiful." Thor told him, voice rough with wonder.

Loki shrugged. "I suppose it is. But that was not my intent in getting you here, Prince Thor."

Thor blinked, focusing back on the small Jotun. "No? And what was your intent?"

Loki moved close, so close Thor could feel the heat of him. Just as close as in the courtyard, in their disastrous first meeting. And somehow, just as frightening. Thor felt just as caught in a trap.

But this time, he did not want to escape.

Loki smiled. "Oh. A bit of privacy."

His eyes moved slowly down Thor, and could it be magic that kept him so paralyzed, so breathless, so enthralled?

He did not think so.

Loki was so close. His eyes were lingering on Thor's lips.

Thor found the ability to move again, and brushed his hand lightly over Loki's side.

"Loki..."

Loki looked back up at him, and he was faintly flushed. His lips were slightly parted. "I'm very glad you came back to Jotunheim, Prince Thor." His voice was rough with feeling.

Thor's hand went slowly, feathering up Loki's back. "There was something here I wanted."

Loki's eyes lit, just for a moment with genuine pleasure, then his gleam of trickery came back. "Oh, was th-"

And before he could twist this into a joke, Thor jerked him close, and kissed him.

And kissed him.

And there was nothing mocking in Loki's gasp. No game in Loki's arms twining around his shoulders. No trick in Loki's eager press against him.

He ran his hands over Loki's back, feeling more possessive, more territorial, than he had any right to. He never wanted to let go.

A distant whisper of a thought came, and suggested Thor might be in more trouble than he'd intended.

And if he was, he was. He had Loki in his arms. So he kissed him.

And kissed him.

And kissed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments greatly appreciated!
> 
> I have a Twitter: [@FiveStillAlive1](https://twitter.com/FiveStillAlive1)
> 
> and a Dreamwidth: [FiveStillAlive](https://fivestillalive.dreamwidth.org/)
> 
> and technically a Tumblr: [RunnerFiveStillAlive](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/runnerfivestillalive), but all I do is post when I put something up on AO3, anymore.


	11. Chapter 11

Loki eyed himself in the mirror. He had a very nicely colored skirt, slit up the thighs, and a fine gold chain around his hips.

He bit his lip as he fussed with his hair. Thor's hair was so soft; Asgardians must do something with it he didn't know about.

He wanted Thor to like his hair. And his appearance.

And everything about him.

Over the last few weeks, they had found many opportunities to... express their liking for each other.

But each taste he got of Thor only made him want more. Each smile made him ache.

He was coming to realize that he hadn't planned at all beyond getting Thor's attention.

He had seen the golden prince, he had wanted him, and now he had him! And... now what?

Did he imagine he could keep him?

It was an anxious, squirming thought.

But... he could go to Asgard.

Thor could not stay here forever; Asgard had no other heirs, and he was ill-adapted to it. And Father disliked him.

But Loki had two older brothers, and would be the right size for Asgard, and-

Odin would probably dislike him in turn, but no matter. He was not exactly well-loved here, either.

Father would never let him have Thor. But... perhaps he would let him be ambassador to Asgard! They had none, and Loki was well-suited for it! What better use could he be put to?

Father might even be pleased to get his runt offspring out of sight and mind. He might think Loki being an ambassador was a greater benefit than a political marriage. And no matter what the result of his sexing, Loki could be with Thor, even if they never could marry!

It was perfect, in Loki's mind. A win for everyone. Ambassadors would benefit both their realms, Father would be free of him in a way that did not break his promise to Mother, he and Thor could carry on their... whatever they had... with discretion...

It was a perfect solution.

Loki shined it more and more in his mind, until it seemed so perfect it was inevitable. This had to be his future!

And yet... he could not raise the courage to mention the idea to Father.

Perhaps after Thor left again. When he could pretend his proposal had nothing to do with the beautiful prince.

Perhaps when Father was in a good mood. Perhaps an urgent need for an ambassador would arise!

Or perhaps... he could make one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments greatly appreciated!
> 
> I have a Twitter: [@FiveStillAlive1](https://twitter.com/FiveStillAlive1)
> 
> and a Dreamwidth: [FiveStillAlive](https://fivestillalive.dreamwidth.org/)
> 
> and technically a Tumblr: [RunnerFiveStillAlive](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/runnerfivestillalive), but all I do is post when I put something up on AO3, anymore.


	12. Chapter 12

Thor looked up at the stars, spread out above them.

"They're different than on Asgard."

Loki was sprawled across him. 'Keeping him warm', he'd said. Thor was beginning to suspect that ploy was the entire reason Loki had wanted to go star gazing.

Thor was hardly going to object. Loki felt right in his arms.

He felt...

"Loki, where are we going?"

"We are laying still, prince."

"No, I mean... us." The thought had been digging into his brain, deeper each time he was able to see the small Jotun, each time they had to sneak and hide to be near each other. "I can't keep studying Jotunheim's geology forever."

Loki was pressed so close, Thor could feel him swallow. "Where do you want us to go?"

"I asked first." And surely his conniving to come here was some indication!

"Ah, but I am a liar. It is pointless to ask me such a meaningful question."

"Silver tongued snake!" Thor wrapped an arm around him, and put his other hand to use tickling him.

Loki shrieked and tried to flail away, laughing. Even convulsing with laughter, and managed to land a few good blows, and Thor grinned and wrestled him onto his back.

"Surrender! Answer the question!"

"Never!"

"Never? I think I will find a way to wring truth from you, silver tongue!" He wrested Loki's arms above his head, and went for the armpits.

"Ahh!"

Thor relented - for the moment! "Answer, Prince Loki of Jotunheim."

Loki panted and gasped, and it was interesting to see him flushed so, turning darker blue rather than red. He looked up at Thor in breathless challenge. "Never!"

Thor ran his free hand over him again, but this time not tickling. Just stroking his fingertips lightly... downward.

"Perhaps another tactic will be more persuasive."

Loki gasped. "Perhaps it is worth a try." He said, voice shaking and soft.

Loki was beautiful. His reactions were beautiful - he was so sensitive to touch! His voice was beautiful - so unabashedly wanting, so sensual!

And oh, his body was beautiful! His strange Jotun anatomy, with both a cock and a cunt, gave Thor twice as much to attend to, stroking and squeezing his gorgeous blue cock, while he kissed and licked and tasted his fill of his warm, slick cunt!

Loki had clutched at his hair, and wrapped his thighs tight around Thor, and wailed as Thor brought him near orgasm again and again, and denied him, denied him, murmuring "Tell me. Tell me, Loki." each time.

Finally Loki was sobbing, wrecked and wild, and he broke.

"I want us to be together!" he shouted. "I want to go back to Asgard with you!"

Back to Asgard! Thor hadn't even considered such a possibility, and he rewarded such a wonderful, clever, perfect suggestion by applying himself thoroughly to Loki's sweet clit, suckling the bud until Loki shrieked, delighting in the feel of blue thighs squeezing around his ears!

When Loki went limp, panting and sweaty from orgasm, Thor slid slowly back up him, grinning at his ruined state. He kissed the lovely prince, once, twice, a third time, until Loki mustered energy to kiss back.

Loki slid his own hand to Thor's cock, bulging through his pants, and made a small interrogatory noise.

"Another time. It's too cold out here." He kissed Loki again. "But no need to question me, prince. I want the same as you do."

Loki seemed to finally find his tongue. "Truly?"

Thor kissed him. "I want you at my side."

Loki moaned, and wrapped his arms tight around Thor.

And fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments greatly appreciated!
> 
> I have a Twitter: [@FiveStillAlive1](https://twitter.com/FiveStillAlive1)
> 
> and a Dreamwidth: [FiveStillAlive](https://fivestillalive.dreamwidth.org/)
> 
> and technically a Tumblr: [RunnerFiveStillAlive](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/runnerfivestillalive), but all I do is post when I put something up on AO3, anymore.


	13. Chapter 13

For weeks now, they had been strategizing, considering and discarding and modifying ideas for how to arrange for Loki to go to Asgard as an ambassador.

It took time to plan such things. Both of their fathers were stubborn. And they needed precise results.

And they could only meet for so long. They had to creep and sneak to get time together, not daring to be found out.

And when they did find time together, they were somewhat prone to... distraction.

At the moment, Loki was very distracted, sucking Thor's magnificent cock.

Oh, he loved Thor's hands in his hair, the bitten-back groans of pleasure, the little whimper when Loki pulled back! He curved his tongue around the head, and purred at the way Thor's hips jerked forward.

When they finished... and finished again, and again, and... they lay together, curled around each other, glowing.

"This was a great idea."

Loki hmmed, pleased as well. This particular garden was closed to all but the royal family, not even guards were allowed.

And with his father's and both brothers' time accounted for, there was no risk of them being caught, for hours!

Luxury.

They rested for a while, quietly enjoying each other. Loki played his hand idly over Thor's pale, warm skin - he didn't see nearly enough of it, but the hot spring in the garden filled the entire space with warm mist, making it warm enough for the Asgardian to strip comfortably.

He was lovely. Loki would never get over how beautiful he was.

"If they're going to send an actual prince to be an ambassador, it would have to be for something big." Thor said, picking up their plotting where they'd left it. "Maybe something personally involving the royal family. But not you; they wouldn't send you if you were the problem."

"I think it will have to be that." Loki agreed. But what drama could he stir in his family that would require a permanent ambassador... and didn't seem to come from him?

"I still think I can pick a fight with Prince Byleistr. He already wants to kill me every time he sees me."

Loki snorted. "The problem there is that he would kill you. I think then we have a war, rather than ambassadors, and I really prefer you alive."

Thor huffed. "I can take him."

"You are mighty. He killed a lot of mighty Asgardians in the war."

Thor grunted, annoyed by reality.

"We need something... greatly insulting, but not causing immediate violence." Loki bit his lip. "Like... I don't know enough of Asgardian insults. Something like him accusing you of enjoying fucking ass!"

"Uh..." Thor went quiet.

Loki went up onto his elbows to stare at him, shocked. "Do you?"

"I... I've never gotten that far with anyone, but... It's a perfectly common thing on Asgard!"

Loki fumbled over that. "It- But- Why?!?"

Thor grinned, turning from embarrassed to lecherous with all the speed of youth. "Do you want me to show you?"

"What? No! Why would, how would that... What?"

Thor chuckled. "It's very vulnerable, and intense. And very, very pleasurable. Are you sure you don't want to try it?"

Loki was sure he was blushing beyond what the steamy garden could excuse. "No!" He squirmed. "Maybe!" If Asgardians did it...

And that was how he ended up being stretched on his stomach, looking nervously over his shoulder at Thor, while Thor kissed and rubbed his back.

"Relax, prince." he murmured. "We can stop any time. There's nothing to worry about."

Loki forced himself to relax, and breathe deep. Thor was only going to use his fingers, only, and if he didn't like it it would end. Nothing to worry about.

It was such a strange, alien idea.

He gasped, when Thor's slow caresses inevitably reached his ass, and then a fingertip touched his hole.

He squeezed Thor's cape, bundled beneath him as a pillow.

Thor swirled and rubbed and teased, and what was the point of this? Then he pressed a single fingertip inside.

OH!

Oh, that was strange, so strange, but he- Thor was doing this, Thor was so intimately within him, Thor-

He found himself moaning softly, lifting his hips. "Thor!"

Thor chuckled. "Shh, love, it gets so much better."

Oh, ancestors. "Please!"

The garden door opened.

Byleistr and Helblindi walked in, talking about their meeting being cut short.

Then they saw Loki and Thor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments greatly appreciated!
> 
> I have a Twitter: [@FiveStillAlive1](https://twitter.com/FiveStillAlive1)
> 
> and a Dreamwidth: [FiveStillAlive](https://fivestillalive.dreamwidth.org/)
> 
> and technically a Tumblr: [RunnerFiveStillAlive](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/runnerfivestillalive), but all I do is post when I put something up on AO3, anymore.


	14. Chapter 14

Loki scrambled to get up, and magicked their clothes back on, but it was a hopeless cause. There was just no mistaking what they had been doing, naked and sprawled together.

It all happened fast. Before he could get a word out, Byleistr had him, almost wrenching his arm from its socket, and Helblindi was on Thor with an outraged roar.

"No! Hel! Byleistr, let go! Don't hurt him!"

He didn't know which of them he meant. Helblindi had always looked out for him!

He well might kill Thor to protect him.

Then Byleistr was yanking him out of the garden, and tossed him against the ice wall of the corridor.

"Ah! By, please! It isn't what you think!"

"It had damn well better be what Hel thinks!" Byleistr shouted. "He thinks you're an innocent little thing, that the nasty Asgardian was taking advantage of you! Well, little brother? Was he?"

Loki whimpered, not daring to rise from where By had thrown him.

He understood what his brother was offering. He would not believe Loki, but if Loki wished to avoid punishment by blaming Thor, Byleistr would let him.

Not out of affection. It was more like offering a choice of belts to be beaten with.

Trembling, Loki shook his head. "No."

Byleistr aimed a kick at him, and Loki barely dodged, but then Byleistr caught him by his hair, and lifted him right up by it.

Loki shrieked. No one had treated him like this since they were children, but the childish panic came right back. "Let go!"

"You runt slut!"

He shook him, and Loki screamed, clawing futilely at his brother's hand. He could hear crashing in the garden, shouts and roars. "By, please, they'll kill each other!"

By didn't seem to hear him. "Your birth was shameful enough! You have been nothing but an embarrassment!"

He threw Loki again, and it was a relief, just to be released from the grip on his hair. He desperately tried to crawl into a crack in the ice wall, driven far more by childish instinct than thought.

By brought a foot down on his ankle, pinning him. Perhaps crippling him.

"Now you let that filthy Asgardian fuck you? In the ass, in case you were not embarrassment enough?"

"We didn't, we didn't!"

Still hearing the battle in the garden, Loki was dragged to his quarters, and thrown furiously inside.

The lock was set. The one that blocked his magic.

Loki pounded at the door, screamed at his brother. Helblindi and Thor would kill each other! They would kill each other!

At some point he must have passed out, and remembered no more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments greatly appreciated!
> 
> I have a Twitter: [@FiveStillAlive1](https://twitter.com/FiveStillAlive1)
> 
> and a Dreamwidth: [FiveStillAlive](https://fivestillalive.dreamwidth.org/)
> 
> and technically a Tumblr: [RunnerFiveStillAlive](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/runnerfivestillalive), but all I do is post when I put something up on AO3, anymore.


	15. Chapter 15

He didn't know how long he was out, but when he struggled back to consciousness, it was dark and still outside.

Hours. Whatever had happened had happened.

Whoever was dead was dead.

Feeling numb, he picked himself up and limped to his bathing room. Cracked ribs, or just bruised? Was his ankle broken, or only swollen?

It would heal. It all healed. He could help it along with magic, once his brain wasn't so...

Grey.

He filled his custom, small runt's tub, and fell in, unable to be anything but clumsy.

Hel. Thor. Were they alive? If Thor lived, was he safe?

Father could have him executed. He had touched Loki, and fought Hel.

He wouldn't. Surely he wouldn't. It would bring certain war.

He stayed in the cold tub, trying to think of nothing but breathing.

But the water that made his body feel better worked on his mind as well, and soon he was terrified. What had happened? What would happen?

Finally he rose from the tub, and wrapped a towel around himself, bundling it around his small frame like a blanket. He couldn't think about that. He couldn't. He sat on his bed, still in a towel, and thought of nothing but healing his ankle. Then his ribs. Then the other scrapes and bruises Byleistr had left.

There was a knock, and Helblindi called his name.

"Hel!" He rushed all the way to the door before remembering. "I can't open it, By sealed it shut!"

Hel could, and did, and Loki flung himself on him, and hugged as much of his brother as he could reach.

"Hel! Are you okay? Are you hurt? Is- Did you-" He shuddered, and bit off the words, too afraid to ask after Thor. He pressed his hands to Hel's injuries, concentrating on healing Hel to still his fear.

"I am well." He looked grim, unhappy, as if he came with bad news.

Thor.

Loki tried to steal himself, and got out the words. "And Prince Thor?"

"Back to Asgard!" Hel's voice had a slight snarl, but Loki's shoulders slumped in relief. "You should have stayed away from him, like I told you!"

Loki stayed silent, but shook his head. Even if he never saw Thor again, he had the memories. He'd had weeks and weeks with a beautiful prince who thought of him as more than a runt.

Loki finished Hel's last large bruise, but when he started to move to a smaller one, Hel gave him a nudge away. "Sit down, Loki."

He did, and Hel sat in one of his normal sized guest chairs.

"What you did with the Asgardian was not acceptable, brother."

Loki hung his head, but a tension in him released. If they had elected Helblindi to deliver his punishment, then the consequences could not be too bad!

He would be confined to the palace for a time, perhaps, or barred from court. Perhaps Hel would search his room and confiscate items related to any of his unapproved hobbies! Loki felt as if he could breathe properly at last.

"Father has decided it is time for you to be sexed."

The words seemed to kick the air right back out of him.

"What? No! I have months left!" Months to arrange an escape to Asgard, perhaps. Months to finish preparing the spell he was certain would make him infertile!

"Father has decided your future must be determined now. There is no controlling you as a child; he says we must know what position in society you will take." Hel's voice was gentle. But it didn't sound as if he disagreed.

No. No no no no.

Through his panic, his tongue seemed to find its own poison. "You mean he needs to know if I am female, so he can sell me to some lord! No need to discipline me if I am safely locked in a bedroom with a cock in my belly!"

Hel looked away. "Many female runts are happy to marry."

"Poor ones, with no other chance for a comfortable life, knowing they bought their family a better life as well!"

Hel grimaced. "Perhaps you will be male, or infertile."

"Perhaps I want a future none of those options offer!" He sprang up. "Perhaps I want to be more than a pet!"

Hel sighed. "The Asgardian-"

"His name is Thor! And I have wanted this long before him!"

"Little brother..."

"I'm not a child!" Tears were threatening, damn them! He hated that he cried when angry! "I'm small, but I'm not a child, or deficient, or a pet!"

"Loki..."

And the tears started, which only made him angrier, and more helpless, and he wanted to shout more, but he was sure his voice would crack, and-

Helblindi pulled him close, and into his lap, and hugged him, while Loki cried, still choking out curses to the world.

When the tears passed, the anger did too, and the horrific reality sank in.

He would be sexed.

And then he would be caught. Whatever the result, he would be bound to it, and trapped in the future assigned to him, and his freedom would be restricted, and he had no control of it.

Hel was patting his back.

"Will you be my attender?" Everyone brought a single family member or friend, to support them through the sexing.

"Of course."

"When?"

Hel smoothed over his hair, trying to comfort. "Two days from now."

Two days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments greatly appreciated!
> 
> I have a Twitter: [@FiveStillAlive1](https://twitter.com/FiveStillAlive1)
> 
> and a Dreamwidth: [FiveStillAlive](https://fivestillalive.dreamwidth.org/)
> 
> and technically a Tumblr: [RunnerFiveStillAlive](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/runnerfivestillalive), but all I do is post when I put something up on AO3, anymore.


	16. Chapter 16

Fandral grunted as Thor destroyed yet another boulder. "So... I take it you're not happy?"

"This isn't happiness." Thor confirmed, stalking over to the next boulder.

"It's not that bad, is it? I'm sure the Jotun didn't look any better than you after your fight!"

Thor shuddered, remembering Loki's shrieks, the yelling, after his oldest brother had dragged him out of the garden. He knew Fandral had meant Helblindi, but it was a sickening thought.

He began smashing the new boulder.

"It is that bad. Father has forbidden me from returning."

"Well..." Fandral dodged a chunk of rock that had come flying off. "You know I'm never one to dissuade romance, but I do stop short of starting wars."

Yes. And barging in uninvited, demanding to see Loki, would likely only get the small prince in more trouble.

The problem was, he didn't know how much trouble Loki was in now. He might be being hurt, he might be held against his will, he might-

Fantasies. Childish rescue fantasies. He wanted to fight monsters and be Loki's hero, and save Loki from... being a prince. Loki was vulnerable as a runt, yes, but he'd given no signs of being abused, or in danger.

Except the screaming after Byleistr dragged him from the garden.

He punched the boulder a few more times. He'd begged Heimdall for information, but Heimdall had only said he was alive, apparently unhurt, and in his own room.

Apparently unhurt in his own room was not the same as safe and free. His mind replayed every rumor of Jotun brutality.

They wouldn't mistreat their own prince, surely. Thor was just angry at not getting his own way. Surely.

Fandral kept trying to comfort him, or at least talk him out of any action. It was all reasonable. Thor could not risk a war because a runt was not being treated well enough.

Much less because he hadn't gotten what he wanted.

All very reasonable.

He smashed two more boulders into rubble, before returning with Fandral to the palace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments greatly appreciated!
> 
> I have a Twitter: [@FiveStillAlive1](https://twitter.com/FiveStillAlive1)
> 
> and a Dreamwidth: [FiveStillAlive](https://fivestillalive.dreamwidth.org/)
> 
> and technically a Tumblr: [RunnerFiveStillAlive](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/runnerfivestillalive), but all I do is post when I put something up on AO3, anymore.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *****WARNING: RAPEY MEDICAL EXAM!*****
> 
> And creepy sadist doctor.
> 
> I couldn't finish this one on Twitter, once I saw where it was going - so you'll notice the paragraphs getting a bit longer.

It was strange how history could cling to language.

Take hunting circles, for instance. They were not tribal, hunting was no longer a way of life!

But still, adults formed their circles, their made families, and the name had stayed.

Or take the sexing ritual. They were not barbarians; they determined fertility by well-established scientific methods. But the word, 'ritual' clung.

And in truth, there was still something ritualistic in it. In how one dressed and behaved. In the calming music and scents.

In the single attender, allowed and expected.

So Loki dressed carefully that day, trying to think of anything but his dread of the outcome.

He thought of Thor. Wished he had told Thor of this, wished he could tell him of his fear. He hadn't wanted to mar their time together.

It never could have lasted. Escaping to Asgard as an ambassador? Being Thor's discreet lover? Fantasy.

But among his careful, formal costuming for the ritual, he slipped in a hair clasp Thor had given him.

He sighed into the mirror, and tried to shake off his maudlin mood.

He really should have fucked Thor while he'd had the chance.

He went to the ritual early, not wanting to risk guards showing up to "escort" him. It was not uncommon for runts to try to escape their sexing, but he would not make a display of himself trying.

As he walked, he felt himself detaching, his mind turning cool and analytical.

Even his father waiting where Helblindi should have been did not upset him. It was mildly amusing, actually. He probably thought Loki would try to convince Hel to conceal it if he was ruled female.

He had certainly intended to try.

He bowed, and greeted his father.

King Laufey looked unimpressed, as he always did.

He saw to Loki's wellbeing, as he had promised his mother. He was even fairly generous and lenient. But he had no love for Loki, and had never tried to pretend otherwise.

The ritual/medical exam proceeded. Loki kept his cool detachment as he was asked how many times he had menstruated, through the hormonal shiftings of adolescence. Only four.

He stayed detached as the doctor asked about his sexual experience, and he calmly outlined the oral and manual things he and Thor had done together, and answered the doctor's questions about what caused him to best orgasm.

It should have been humiliating, but he took some perverse pleasure in infuriating his father.

Matters got less entertaining when the doctor ordered him to strip and lay on the table, but Loki kept his detachment.

Until he felt the doctor's hands spreading his thighs.

He tried to jerk away, but was held easily. "What are you doing?" he gasped.

"Calm down, little prince. You are too small for normal instruments, so I will do your exam by hand."

"I am too small for your fingers! Runts are two percent of the population; why do you not have instruments sized for us!?"

But he knew why. Runts deserved pain for being runts.

The doctor grunted disinterest at his question, and proceeded. He had to use no violent gesture, or even apparent effort to force Loki's thighs open, simply casually spreading him, pinning him, as if he were an animal who could not be simply told to cooperate.

The doctor began probing at his tiny crotch with his fingers, and Loki tried to lay still, to breathe steadily, to not tremble. He squeezed and pressed against the tight bulge at the base of his cock. “Testicle size below average.” he said, as if it were just a fact, as if it didn't push Loki's future further toward being a pet fuckdoll.

‘Infertile’, he begged the universe. ‘Please, infertile!’

Then the doctor was spreading folds of skin back, and Loki didn't think he'd ever been more urgently aware of his smallness. His mind frantically measured the feel of the doctor's fingers against his thigh, and compared it to Thor's small hands.

“Hmm, his hymen hasn't fully faded.” His fingertip brushed against the thin stretch of membrane along the bottom edge of Loki’s entrance, and Loki twitched and hissed. He always hated it to be touched, hated if he accidentally caught against it masturbating; it was so sensitive and tender!

“He is a few months early.” Father said.

The doctor nodded. “It's not unusual.” He picked something up off the side table, and Loki caught a glimpse of it, and he had just enough time to cringe, to draw in breath to protest, then the breath was forced out of him in an undignified cry, as the doctor's scissors snipped through the last bit of his hymen.

His hands flew to his mouth, and he sucked in urgent breaths, trying to fight the sudden welling of pained tears, the childish wail. “A little warning!” he snarled. Oh, oh, fuck, that hurt, he was throbbing, fear and pain were racing through his blood. He was fine, he told himself, needing not to cry. Fine! He'd hated it being there; he would have snipped it himself, if he'd known that was an option!

The doctor gave him an absent, professional pat on the thigh, some distant approximation of comfort, and Loki felt again like an animal at the vet, rather than a Jotun prince. He dared one brief look at Father, and saw him with his arms folded, sternly watching the doctor work.

Helblindi had not told him it was like this! He had never heard anyone say it was like this! Others talked about some embarrassment at being so intimately examined, but also how kind and soothing the doctor was, how they were guided into a light trance before things started, how their attender held their hand and helped them stay calm, how they'd had important realizations about what they wanted for their futures.

Loki kept his hands near his mouth, to guard against further embarrassing outbursts. Then the doctor was pushing a finger into his runt vagina, stretching him, and Loki's toes curled, and he bit his finger, but he stayed still and quiet.

The doctor finally released his thigh, only to put his hand over Loki's abdomen, and began pressing down, and his finger pressed up, squeezing and feeling his insides. The finger slid deeper, until it was pushing against his cervix. Loki closed his eyes, breathing harsh, as it seemed to go on and on, he was sure the doctor was pressing the same areas again and again…

The doctor made a thoughtful noise.

“Is there a problem?” Father asked.

“No, no, runts are just more difficult. He’s certainly not male, but it's harder to confirm female fertility. I know exactly what I’m feeling for, normally, and exactly how to find it, but with runts everything's more difficult to find. And of course, the size differences are subtle.” He gave Loki a bland smile. “Hard to find anything in here.”

The he gave a little wiggle of his finger, like he was giving the inside of Loki an affectionate scratch under the chin. Loki gasped and jerked, and forced himself still again, gritting his teeth.

“Sadist!” he accused.

From his angle, Father couldn't see the twist of the doctor's lips. “I’ll have to use two fingers, with your permission, Sire. It may cause some light tearing, and internal bruising.”

“One is enough!” Loki cried.

“You didn't seem to have any problems with that Asgardian’s fingers.” Father said, and there was just a hint of nastiness in his voice. “Proceed.”

Loki couldn't entirely contain his whimpers, and then groans, and the doctor squirmed a second finger ruthlessly into him.

He bit his finger, and tried to think of anything else, anything, but what came to mind was that the doctor had said he wasn't male. That left one-third chance of being infertile. And two-thirds chance of being female.

Then the pressing and squeezing became too much. “What are you doing?” Loki hissed. “Trying to flatten me? Maybe what you're looking for isn't there!”

“Ah, but there it is.” The doctor rubbed a small circle, making Loki's legs spasm. “Hmm. Yes, he is very much female, highness. It's hardly any wonder he pursued the Asgardian; he's fully developed and ready to marry!”

“Then GET YOUR FINGERS OUT OF ME!” Loki snarled.

The doctor gave him one more forceful rub, and then finally pulled out of him.

And as he rose to wash his hands, the reality sank into Loki.

Female.

Female. And ready to marry.

Father returned his clothes - the first part of his duties as attender he'd fulfilled.

Loki took them, shaking, and simply put them on his lap.

“Father… please…”

“There are several I have had in mind for you, should you prove female. You will be married quickly.”

Loki thought he might be sick. “I can be more use to you than merely a trading token.” He swallowed, when Father didn't answer. “I… What marriage alliance would be more benefit than a stronger alliance with Asgard? You know I have studied them. I could be an ambassador, I could-”

“Get dressed, Loki. And get your things in order. You will be married in a few days.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments greatly appreciated!
> 
> I have a Twitter: [@FiveStillAlive1](https://twitter.com/FiveStillAlive1)
> 
> and a Dreamwidth: [FiveStillAlive](https://fivestillalive.dreamwidth.org/)
> 
> and technically a Tumblr: [RunnerFiveStillAlive](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/runnerfivestillalive), but all I do is post when I put something up on AO3, anymore.


	18. Chapter 18

"Thor. Thor."

Thor sat up, blinking, and it took him a moment to realize Loki's voice must have been a dream. He must have drifted off.

He supposed that made sense, when his main occupation lately had been laying across his bed and staring at his ceiling.

"Thor."

Thor jerked around. That had been real! Loki's voice! Where was it coming from?

"Thor."

He followed the voice to his bedside table. The necklace! The frozen charm of ice Loki had given him, enspelled not to melt!

He snatched it up. "Loki!"

"Oh, ancestors, Thor, you heard me!"

"Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

"I- I'm not hurt. Not really. But I- I don't know why I called to you; there's nothing you can do."

Thor found himself almost growling. "Loki, I haven't come for you because I didn't want to get you in more trouble, or risk a war when you might not need help. If you need me, I will come to you!"

"I-"

And it all spilled out.

The sexing ritual, the way female runts were treated, him being declared female, his father's insistence on marrying him quickly.

"I don't know what to do!" Loki finished, panic edging his words.

"Okay." Thor could feel his own panic, responding to Loki's, and rising with the mental image of Loki trapped beneath the huge frame of some brutal Jotun husband. "Okay. We have a few days, right? I'm going to come for you. I- We'll think of something; we'll go..." Where?

"Truly? Thor, I doubt your father-"

"He won't send you back!" There was a big difference between refusing to help a distant stranger in abstract danger, and forcing a refugee right before you to return to the danger they'd escaped.

Besides, sending Loki back would look like he was giving in to Jotunheim's demands, and he would not want that.

"Forget that, we need to concentrate on getting you out. How well guarded are you? Can you get out of the palace?"

"Maybe, if Hel-" There was pounding on Loki's door.

"Just a minute!" Loki called. He spoke quickly. "How will I know when to meet you?"

"I..." Uh...

The knocking was getting louder, they were yelling for Loki to open the door.

"I'll signal you, or..." How? What?

Then Loki shouted, as his door crashed in.

"Get the fuck- No! Let go!"

"Loki!?" There were sounds of things being knocked over. "Loki! What's happening?"

"Do-" The sound cut abruptly off.

Thor clutched the charm, as if he could jump through it to Loki's side. "Loki?" He knew it was hopeless.

He had to get there. He had to-

The unmeltable charm was turning wet in his hand, and melting away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments greatly appreciated!
> 
> I have a Twitter: [@FiveStillAlive1](https://twitter.com/FiveStillAlive1)
> 
> and a Dreamwidth: [FiveStillAlive](https://fivestillalive.dreamwidth.org/)
> 
> and technically a Tumblr: [RunnerFiveStillAlive](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/runnerfivestillalive), but all I do is post when I put something up on AO3, anymore.


	19. Chapter 19

It was the collar that did it.

Loki sat on his bedroom floor, still and alone, breathing in the quiet.

His small runt desk had been broken in the struggle. His flimsy runt skirt torn. Then he had been discarded on the floor, with a collar around his neck.

They hadn’t even known he’d been contacting Thor. This would have happened anyway.

He looked down at his hands, holding him up off the floor.

Why? Why take his magic? He was helpless already!

But if he was helpless…

Why collar him?

If he was doubly helpless now… why were there guards at the door?

If he was helpless… why such precautions?

Perhaps…

He wasn’t helpless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments greatly appreciated!
> 
> I have a Twitter: [@FiveStillAlive1](https://twitter.com/FiveStillAlive1)
> 
> and a Dreamwidth: [FiveStillAlive](https://fivestillalive.dreamwidth.org/)
> 
> and technically a Tumblr: [RunnerFiveStillAlive](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/runnerfivestillalive), but all I do is post when I put something up on AO3, anymore.


	20. Chapter 20

Heimdall had told him it was an abuse of the power his father had entrusted him with. His father had left him nominally in charge while he went to Nilfheim. He had not intended to give Thor permission to do something so reckless as steal a prince from Jotunheim.

He told him that. But then he opened the bifrost.

Thor tightened his grip on his axe, and eyed the palace. He would try to sneak in - he knew some of Loki’s little cracks and passages through the palace, now. But he was bound to be noticed at some point.

He would try not to kill anyone. He didn’t want a war, and taking Loki would be inviting one already.

But if he had to kill, he would. He wasn’t leaving Loki here.

He took a deep breath, still watching the movement of guards and officials, in and out of the palace. What if Loki wasn’t even in his room anymore? What if whoever had smashed through his door had moved him somewhere else? How would he find him?

Just as he thought it, a boom rocked the frozen air.

The side of a tower collapsed, crumbling downward.

And he had a sudden, clear certainty.

That was where Loki was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments greatly appreciated!
> 
> I have a Twitter: [@FiveStillAlive1](https://twitter.com/FiveStillAlive1)
> 
> and a Dreamwidth: [FiveStillAlive](https://fivestillalive.dreamwidth.org/)
> 
> and technically a Tumblr: [RunnerFiveStillAlive](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/runnerfivestillalive), but all I do is post when I put something up on AO3, anymore.


	21. Chapter 21

They found each other in the cracks and passages Loki had shown Thor, the ones too small for normal Jotun.

Thor almost tackled Loki, hugged him tight, breathing out a sigh of relief. Loki’s fingers dug into his back.

“I didn’t know if I would find you.” he said, muffled in Loki’s shoulder. Loki hadn’t even known he was there, hadn’t known to look for him, he might have gone anywhere!

“Very glad you did. My escape plan was… lacking certain details.”

“Will people be after you?” In the main corridor, only feet away, there was yelling and running, people rushing to and from the half-collapsed tower.

“Only a few guards. Everyone else will be busy with the tower.”

“A few is enough; let’s go.” They didn’t need to get far; the bifrost could get them once they were clear of the buildings.

He held Loki’s hand with one of his, and kept his axe ready in the other. No one was going to seperate them again.

And they ran.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments greatly appreciated!
> 
> I have a Twitter: [@FiveStillAlive1](https://twitter.com/FiveStillAlive1)
> 
> and a Dreamwidth: [FiveStillAlive](https://fivestillalive.dreamwidth.org/)
> 
> and technically a Tumblr: [RunnerFiveStillAlive](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/runnerfivestillalive), but all I do is post when I put something up on AO3, anymore.


	22. Chapter 22

The escape was breathless, frantic, almost too hurried for Loki to follow. They'd taken the hidden passages as far as they could, but then they'd had to break cover, and run for open space. They'd been spotted, and pursued by legs much longer than their own.

At the last moment, Thor had spun and faced the warrior.

And for the first time, Loki had seen the fierce Asgardian he had read so much of, understood how such tiny people could fight Jotuns.

And that visceral want he had felt when he first saw Thor flared brighter within him.

In their months together, Loki had learned to trust Thor. Had been fascinated by his stories, and warmed by his kindness.

He had almost forgotten how impossibly beautiful he was.

Ancestors, he wanted to taste every inch of that body.

He barely had time to register the entirely inappropriately timed thoughts, before Thor took a firm hold of Loki, and shouted something, and a bright light engulfed them.

Then...

They were in Asgard.

It could only be Asgard.

Still catching his breath, able to hear Thor's own panting, Loki tightened his grip on Thor, and looked around in awe.

So much color, so many trees, so brightly lit, and warm!

Then Thor was laughing, with the tone of only just realizing they were safe.

"Loki!" He got out. Then he cupped his hand around the back of Loki's neck, and pulled him into a kiss.

And something wild surged through Loki, and he was yanking Thor closer, kissing him, body lighting with urgent need, because...

He could have this!

He could KEEP this!

He moaned into Thor's kiss, and he would have had Thor right there on the bifrost-

But Thor pushed him back just a tiny bit, cleared his throat, and nodded pointedly to the man on the other side of the platform, looking out across the sea.

Loki flushed. But didn't move away.

Nor did Thor let him go. He stroked Loki's face, looking at him with love. "What did you do to the tower?"

Loki blinked, mind jumping tracks. "Oh, that." He looked away, nervously. "They blocked my magic, but they didn't take my supplies, and they can't take my knowledge."

"They blocked- oh, Loki..." He ran two fingers along his collar, seeming to just now notice it. "Oh... We'll find a way to get this off."

Loki nodded. There had to be a way, even without permission from the collar's owner.

Thor kissed him again, this time tender and sweet, and Loki still wanted to melt into him. They were safe, and together, and Loki hadn't really known this was an option. He'd dreamed of it, but never imagined it being part of reality.

Thor pulled away, and smiled at him, stroking a thumb over his cheek. "There is one thing we should do right away, though." He looked excited, nervous. He kissed Loki's hair. "Loki... no matter what, you have my support and my friendship. Okay?"

Loki nodded slowly, confused.

Then Thor slipped from his arms.

And dropped to one knee.

"I never want anyone to be able to separate us again. Prince Loki of Jotunheim, will you marry me?"

Loki gasped, mind freezing, concepts rearranging. Marriage... to Thor?

For so long, he had thought of marriage as a sentence, a punishment for reaching adulthood while remaining so small. Now here was Thor, offering it as protection and political security.

Offering it in love.

In shock, for a few seconds Loki could only stare, then nod weakly.

When Thor's face lit in a smile, it shook Loki out of his paralysis, and he dropped to his knees to embrace Thor.

"Yes!" he gasped. "Yes! Yes, yes, yes!"

Heart racing with happiness, he kissed Thor again. And again, and-

Again, Thor had to stop them before things got too far, and they embarrassed the poor gatekeeper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been traumatized for life (for life, I tell you! *dramatic pose*) by the reaction to Catch a Prince, so I feel I should establish:
> 
> \- I am 99% sure we're headed for a happy ending.
> 
> \- This isn't it.
> 
> 😬
> 
> Kudos and comments greatly appreciated!
> 
> I have a Twitter: [@FiveStillAlive1](https://twitter.com/FiveStillAlive1)
> 
> and a Dreamwidth: [FiveStillAlive](https://fivestillalive.dreamwidth.org/)
> 
> and technically a Tumblr: [RunnerFiveStillAlive](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/runnerfivestillalive), but all I do is post when I put something up on AO3, anymore.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: NSFW this chapter!
> 
> This chapter got porny and lengthy! Not, like, excessively so, but more than I wanted to splash all over people's unsuspecting walls on Twitter. And just... my brain did not want to work in Twitter story telling format today. This is what happens when you put things out before they're finished, brain, you get inconsistent styles!
> 
> I might even have to switch this story to being a proper AO3 fic; it's getting MORE than I expected. We'll see, I guess!

Asgard was even more fantastic than Loki’s books had told him. Golden and thriving and overflowing with wonders.

Thor had shown him around Asgard, shamelessly holding his hand and introducing him as Prince Loki of Jotunheim, his betrothed. Loki had been fascinated by all there was to see; he wanted to explore everything in this bright world, he wanted to wander the woods, and the sea that would not kill with cold. He wanted to bask in this explosion of life all around him, in this realm of eternal summer.

And everything here was his size! The furniture was tiny, the architecture all miniature, all sized for runts. Much of the palace was grand and spacious, but in some hallways Loki felt almost claustrophobic. When they stood on a balcony, Loki had kept away from the edge, imagining how he might fall over the railing, which came only to his waist.

And the people - every one of them was a runt! Or… he supposed they weren’t runts, here. It was just their normal size. And they all busily went about their lives, taking on complex responsibilities, under no one’s control or protection, as if their tininess didn’t matter at all!

They had spent the day outside, much of it with Thor’s friends, Sif and Fandral.

He saw them giving Thor and each other worried looks, saw them pulling Thor aside in turn to have hushed, serious words with him. Thor looked grim at what they said, but firmly reassured them, then would take Loki’s hand again.

King Odin would not separate them now, Thor said. Not after he had announced their engagement. It would undermine trust in the throne for the king and his heir to appear to be at odds.

He was the only heir, Loki supposed. That must come with a certain security. Thor seemed so comfortable and confident, sure his mother would be able to use her magic to open Loki’s collar, and sure his father would accept Thor’s choice in marriage, and sure Loki would be accepted by the Asgardian people. Loki was cautious, skeptical, but it was hard to doubt Thor’s sunny certainty.

Asgard had a grand feast every night, it seemed, simply to celebrate being Asgardians, and living on such a beautiful realm. At it, Thor announced their engagement once again, to loud - if somewhat confused - cheers.

Throughout the feast, Loki saw people casting them cold, or even angry, looks. But others, many others, came up to congratulate them, and introduce themselves to Loki. Loki soon had more offers for social engagements than he knew what to do with, and offers to show him certain aspects of their kingdom, requests to meet with him… The royal historian was especially insistent, and Loki had promised to speak with him soon.

Her! Loki had to keep reminding himself to use the pronoun. Female Asgardians looked different, in both form and decoration, often presenting themselves in ways that emphasized the differences of their bodies, as if they wanted to make their femininity obvious.

It seemed that males and females- or rather, ‘men and women’; there seemed to be some subtle distinction that Loki was still puzzling out - took different roles in Asgardian society. On Jotunheim, the matter was really only important among runts; for normal Jotuns, their sex affected only who they could marry, not their position in society.

As the feast went on, and things became more relaxed and inebriated, Loki had hesitantly admitted that he was female to the warriors who had ended up at their table. This was met with them asking if he was a man or a woman, and Loki hadn’t known how to answer. Which position did he want to take socially, they seemed to be asking, and he had no idea. Did he have to chose one?

Thor had told him that of course he didn’t, and the warriors had agreed, and tried, a bit drunkenly, to explain the difference, and all the ways that those rules didn’t apply, and all the ways people didn’t fall into either category, and…

Why had none of his books gone into this aspect of Asgardian culture? It was fascinating.

Eventually the feast had worn down, and he and Thor left, to a few bawdy hollers from those who remained.

Thor grinned at him, out in the hall. “I can show you to a guest room, if you’d prefer to sleep alone.” He squeezed Loki’s hand.

Loki turned to face him, wrapped an arm around him, and gave Thor’s perfect ass a squeeze. “I can think of better places to spend the night. And better activities to fill it.”

“Oh really?”

“Oh yes.” An entire night with Thor. No need to worry they would be caught, no need to sneak about, and hide that they were even spending time together. No need to be quiet, or wary of marks, or careful of damaging clothing or musing hair. And then they could do the same the next night, and the night after that, and…

Loki bit his lip as he looked down Thor’s body. He could certainly think of activities to fill their time!

Thor groaned, and yanked him closer. “What thought put that look on your face?”

Loki rubbed up against him, hungrily. “Take me back to your room, and I’ll show you.”

Thor gave a small gasp. Then he lifted Loki up, and tossed him over his shoulder.

“Hey!” Loki kicked and thrashed, even as he laughed.

Thor gave his ass a smack. “Quit squirming, or I’ll make you squirm a lot more; I know where you’re ticklish!”

Loki yelped, but stilled. “Barbarian!”

Thor took off with him down the hall, whistling cheerfully.

Hmm. Actually, this gave him a pretty good view. He reached down, and pushed his hand down the back of Thor’s pants, earning his own startled exclamation.

Thor kicked his door open, and delivered Loki onto the bed with a decisive plop. Loki didn’t even let him straighten his back before grabbing hair and shoulder and pulling him hard down on top of himself. Thor laughed into their kiss.

“You’re never shy about getting what you want, are you?”

Loki grinned. “Not since I saw you.” He began tugging on Thor’s shirt. “And now I want these clothes off of you!”

Thor took them off, and this time there was nothing to interrupt Loki’s thorough exploration of his body. There was nothing to interrupt Thor’s cries of pleasure at Loki’s touches, nothing to interrupt Thor’s tongue delving deep into him. And, after a brief discussion of fertility, and agreement that they dared not have vaginal sex yet, nothing to interrupt Thor gently introducing him to the pleasures of anal sex.

And Loki found he loved it.

The slow stretch of Thor’s fingers within him, the vulnerable pleasure of knowing that an impatient move from Thor could hurt him, the sheer forbidden thrill of it, they all had Loki clutching the pillow beneath him, and begging Thor for more, begging, until Thor’s cock - just his size, just his perfect, runt size - was pushing into him, slow and stretching and making him lose all sense of words, all sense of anything but being possessed by Thor.

“Oh, Loki.” Thor breathed. “You’re so beautiful. I want… I want to stay inside you all night, I want to draw flowers on your skin, I want to kneel and beg at your feet…” Loki groaned, as Thor’s finger traced up one of the most sensitive lines on his back. “I want to tie you up and have you for hours. Then I want you to do the same to me.”

“Fuck!” Loki gasped. Do it to him? Yes! Yes, Thor was his size, Loki would not seem tiny and unsatisfying to him, he… he might like Loki’s cock in him, he might like it, it might feel just like this, just this perfect, this wonderful, and oh, oh…

Thor slid a hand around his hips, and down to his cock, rubbing it and his clit in turn, teasing him, keeping him on the edge of orgasm, and Loki never wanted it to end, never wanted Thor to stop making him feel this way, never-

Thor engulfed him, covered him, bent low over him, and whispered in his ear. “I want you to fucking own me, Loki.”

At that, Loki cried out, and was unable to put off orgasm another moment, unable to do anything but shriek Thor’s name, and clench and spasm around his body, and oh, oh, Thor’s gasp, he could feel Thor spilling into him, filling him, coming inside of him, yes yes yes!

It was a while before Loki remembered to breathe.

A while before Loki was able to translate the feeling of love along his shoulder to Thor’s lips, softly kissing him. A while before either of them were coherent enough to speak.

“I love you.” Loki got out, unable to think of other words.

Thor gasped, and shuddered, and Loki chuckled as he realized Thor was coming again, just at those words. He captured one of Thor’s hands, and nuzzled into it.

After a while it occurred to Loki that time was passing, and he roused his brain to speak.

“Mmm. Are you really planning to stay inside me all night?” At the moment it seemed a perfectly agreeable prospect.

Thor grunted. “No. But I’m not ready to leave yet.”

Loki sighed happily, strangely warm inside. Glowing.

“Oh!” Thor seemed to perk up, and lifted himself partly off Loki - not moving his hips, or where they were joined - and stretched to retrieve something from his bedside table.

Loki made vague grumbling noises at the movement, but decided not to really protest as long as Thor didn’t try to actually get up. Then Thor was settling back down, nuzzling his neck, and putting a small box in front of his face.

“I got this after we were caught, before you were able to contact me. I was still hoping we’d find a way, something diplomatic…”

“What is it?” Loki pushed himself up on an elbow, curious.

Thor worked the lid off with a thumb, and showed him. There was a ring inside, beautifully crafted, with subtle etchings, and tiny sparks of gems. “I meant to give this to you when I asked you to marry me.”

Loki craned his head back to look at him, and smiled. “It’s beautiful. Did you think you would have to buy my favor?”

Thor chuckled. “It’s an engagement ring. Do you not have the custom on Jotunheim?”

“We must not. It’s a what?” On Jotunheim, many marriages were for breeding and politics first, and romantic attachment second. Engagement was marked with signed contracts, and romantic gestures were worked out individually, if so desired. If one was feeling traditional, a glacier elk might be hunted, and presented to the object of one’s courtship. This ring, on the other hand… He cautiously reached to touch it, to tilt it and see the light sparkle on it.

“Engagement ring. You wear it to show you’re engaged. Then when we get married, I give you an even bigger one.”

How charming. “Should I have gotten you one?”

“It’s customary, but a lot of people only do wedding rings, not both. But…” he picked it up, and kissed Loki’s neck again. “Will you wear it?”

“I feel this is a very romantic moment, and a bit out of place when your cock is still in my ass.”

“Nonsense, no better time!” Thor sounded amused. “Will you?”

“Of course.” He liked the idea. A solid symbol he could hold onto, a marker to hold him until they could properly marry.

A better ring of metal, to counter his father’s collar around his neck.

Thor took his left hand, and let out a soft sigh of pleasure as he slid the ring onto Loki’s third finger.

It fit perfectly, perfectly sized for his runt finger. Loki extended his hand a bit, stretched his fingers, to better look at it.

He immediately liked it. Immediately knew that it belonged there. He twisted his head back, and buried his ringed finger in Thor’s hair, and pulled him in for a deep kiss.

He wanted this. Wanted this, with Thor, forever. And now he had a ring to say it would happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments greatly appreciated!
> 
> I have a Twitter: [@FiveStillAlive1](https://twitter.com/FiveStillAlive1)
> 
> and a Dreamwidth: [FiveStillAlive](https://fivestillalive.dreamwidth.org/)
> 
> and technically a Tumblr: [RunnerFiveStillAlive](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/runnerfivestillalive), but all I do is post when I put something up on AO3, anymore.


	24. Chapter 24

Loki rung his hands uneasily, as the king and prince shouted at each other.

He had Thor's ring. His promise. His public announcement of their engagement. They had known Odin would not be pleased. This shouting, up and down the steps of the throne dais, was expected.

He decided to try again. He could be useful to Asgard! He could be a go-between between their realms, or at least an adviser. And he was skilled with magic, for his few years. And Jotunheim would be angry over all of this, but they would not go to war, not over a runt!

He stepped forward. "Highness, Jo-"

King Odin snarled at him with such ferocity that Loki stumbled back, automatically thinking of places to hide, but there were no cracks in these smooth stone walls, no places he could go that others could not!

Odin sneered at his reaction. "Look at him! A cowering, fearful runt! It is not bad enough you would bring a Jotun into the halls of Asgard, you brought a soft, weak, misformed thing, and dared bind yourself to it!"

Loki stopped himself from baring his teeth, or snapping back about their relative sizes, even as Thor shouted furiously. "I can be useful to you. I have studied magic, and the realms. And you could ask for no one more loyal to be at your son's side, after all he has done for me."

"My son!" Odin growled the word. "My son is a reckless fool, who would risk war to satisfy the whims of his cock!"

"They were going to marry him to a full sized Jotun!" Thor roared.

"And so they shall!" Odin roared back. "He will be returned to Jotunheim at once!"

"No!"

"And may they do as they please with him!"

"No! I won't let you!" Thor put himself between Loki and his father. "I have asked him to marry me, as Prince of Asgard-"

"YOU ARE NOT WORTHY OF SUCH A TITLE!" Odin roared. "You are not worthy of the trust and responsibility I have given you, or the line to the throne you were born to!"

Queen Frigga made a small movement, and Loki's eyes were drawn to her. She had been unhappy but quiet through all this. Now her knuckles were white on her armrest.

It made Loki's stomach roil. What was going to happen, to make her look so fearful?

"If your idea of worthiness is that I should abandon someone I care for, then I want nothing of it!" Thor shouted. He did not seem to have picked up on the change in his mother.

"Thor..."

"For your betrayal of the trust placed in you, your disregard for the peace between realms, and your arrogant refusal to repent, I sentence you-"

"WHAT?!"

"- to a lifetime of exile!" Odin thrust his hand forward, and suddenly Thor dropped to his knees.

Loki rushed to him, flinging himself down by him, to see what had hurt him. His skin seemed almost grey, as if he had lost light inside himself. He looked dazed.

Loki looked up at Odin in panic. "What did you do?"

"Stripped him of his undeserved power!"

Then Odin's hand extended again, and Loki was shoved away from Thor.

And something dark and churning opened behind Thor, widening, filling the air with crackling magic.

Thor looked up at his father, then his eyes found Loki, and Loki barely had time to see the fear on his face.

Then the portal behind him seemed to yank Thor through it, before slamming closed.

The room was quiet.

Loki thought he heard a muffled sob from Queen Frigga, but couldn't take his eyes from where he had seen Thor disappear.

Then his head snapped around, to look at the ruthless king.

"Send me with him."

Odin seemed barely to hear him.

"Send me with him!" Loki insisted. "If you return me to Jotunheim, it looks as if you gave in to their demands. If you banish us both, then you, the Allfather, have passed your judgment on heir and enemy alike! What could seem more powerful?"

The king finally blinked. Then made a bitter noise. "You will be returned to Jotunheim at once."

He waved a hand, and a pair of guards descended on him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments greatly appreciated!
> 
> I have a Twitter: [@FiveStillAlive1](https://twitter.com/FiveStillAlive1)
> 
> and a Dreamwidth: [FiveStillAlive](https://fivestillalive.dreamwidth.org/)
> 
> and technically a Tumblr: [RunnerFiveStillAlive](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/runnerfivestillalive), but all I do is post when I put something up on AO3, anymore.


	25. Chapter 25

The bifrost deposited him unceremoniously, unsubtly, in front of the palace.

As the guards rushed toward him, Loki sat still, and watched them, going deep into the quiet parts of his mind.

He would be dragged before his father soon. He needed to know what he wanted.

He wanted... not to live here.

Equally importantly, he wanted not to die here.

He would not die here. He would stay alive, and hoard what freedom he could, until he found a way to escape. Then he would find Thor.

Stay alive.

Escape.

All other considerations... pride and pleasure... fell away.

He would not live here.

He would not die here.

So when he was brought before his father, he went to his knees, and bowed his head, in utter surrender.

"Father, I am sorry. You were right. I do not belong out in the world. I should have trusted you, I should have trusted your judgement. Please forgive me."

He paused, and swallowed, and Father remained quiet, letting him continue. Perhaps he had not expected this.

"I was frightened. Please, surely you can see why marriage would frighten me? But I understand now, your warnings of the hardness of the world outside your protection."

Byleistr scoffed. But still, nothing from Father.

"Please. I understand now. I accept my place. Please, forgive me." Father had never loved him, but never hurt him. The closest he had ever come to cruelty was his sexing, and that had been his disgust for Asgardians, not Loki.

He waited, quietly, head bowed, mind racing, trying to think of better ways to beg, trying to think of a better angle than playing the helpless, sheltered runt, overwhelmed by the loudness of the world, too child-like to survive without a guardian.

Then Father sighed.

"Perhaps it was a mistake not to make you undergo at least some warrior training. You have never learned to endure fear or discomfort."

Oh, no, what would a runt know of fear? Loki had to force his posture to remain chastened, and not show his thoughts.

"I can understand why the prospect of marriage would frighten you."

Loki nodded. "But I understand now. I have a place here, it is where I belong."

Stay alive.

Escape.

"Very well, Loki."

Loki dared lift his head.

"Since you have shown such remorse, I will put you in Helblindi's care, until you are married."

He saw Hel's shoulders sag with relief, and By's tighten with annoyance, and fear spiked in him at the realization that he might have been handed to By.

"You will have no freedom. You will stay collared, and in your brother's immediate control. You will not be allowed time unguarded. When you are married, it will be up to your husband to decide when and if to remove your collar."

"Yes, Father."

He was gestured to rise, and Helblindi came to him quickly.

"If you do not guard him well, I will put his care in Byleistr's hands." Father warned, looking sharply at Hel. Hel nodded firmly.

"I will mind him."

Loki bowed his head, as if in humble gratitude.

As Hel lead him from the room, Loki rearranged pieces in his mind. The collar would not come off. No surprise there.

He didn't need the collar off.

He needed a ship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Erg, this thing where I'm putting this out as I write it, where I don't know where it's going, it is NERVE-RACKING. I don't know how dark this is gonna get! I'm pretty sure we're headed for a happy ending, and I'll add tags/warnings as appropriate but AHHH.
> 
> \---
> 
> Kudos and comments greatly appreciated!
> 
> I have a Twitter: [@FiveStillAlive1](https://twitter.com/FiveStillAlive1)
> 
> and a Dreamwidth: [FiveStillAlive](https://fivestillalive.dreamwidth.org/)


	26. Chapter 26

Loki watched Hel out of the corner of his eye, careful not to look at his bookcase. He had convinced Hel to let him get some things from his room - nothing magic, he’d promised, nothing anyone would object to. He just wanted some clothes, his hair supplies, a few things.

No one knew enough of hair care, or magic, to notice if a few magical tools went into his bag of hair pins and clasps.

It wasn’t much. Most of his magic required his own power. The things he had made to work on stored power had been mostly experiments to test different techniques, not attempts to actually make something useful. But he dropped as much of it as he dared into the bag.

He’d let Helblindi see him sneaking looks at his bookshelf. Even Hel would not believe his act if he didn’t attempt a little trouble. He had to let himself be caught at small things, so Hel would not be so on edge watching for the important things.

“Hel… can you get some of the notebooks and pencils from my study? Some of the empty ones?” He let himself sound wistful. He was not allowed in his study.

To be fair, he’d blown up half the tower last time he’d been in there.

Hel gave him a suspicious look.

“Please? I have them custom made in my size, and what if…”

What if his husband didn’t allow him to get new ones.

Hel sighed. “Do NOT make trouble.” He stepped into Loki’s study.

Loki hurried to his bookshelf, and grabbed a guide on worlds beyond the realms. Maps, customs, even navigation charts - all decades out of date, but information they would need, all the same.

He took its cover off, and grabbed a book Helblindi had given him, of old legends, and hurriedly took its cover off as well, and swapped them. He shoved that book back in place, and hurried to get the other in his bag-

“Loki!” Hel strode sternly toward him, and Loki snapped around, guiltily.

“Yes, brother?” He clutches the book under folded arms, as if that might hide it.

Hel pulled him away from the shelf. “Why do you do this? Do you not understand what will happen to you in By’s care? Do you know how furious he is?” He gave him a shake. “What is worth that risk?”

He tugged the book away from Loki, and Loki let out a soft, injured noise. “No…”

And Hel stared at the book, frozen. At the book Loki had risked his safety for, a sentimental gift from Hel. “Oh…” He looked touched, almost teary. “Of course you can keep this.”

Loki snatched it back, and clutched it to him, rather as if it were a guide to worlds beyond the realms.

“Brother…” Hel knelt down next to him. “You are not going into prison. You will be allowed to get new notebooks when you want them. You will be allowed to have books. You will probably even be allowed to keep studying magic!”

“You don’t know that.” And the bitter fear was real, even if Loki had no intention of being here long enough to be subject to it. “I may never be allowed out of a bedroom again, and you know it.”

Hel opened his mouth, but then closed it again, and grimaced.

And for a moment Loki forgot his plans to escape, forgot that he was only pretending. For a moment he watched his big brother, breathless, waiting for him to fix this, to say something that would make it all better.

He wouldn’t hand Loki over to that? He wouldn’t allow it?

Then Hel stood up with a heavy sigh. “Come on. Is there anything else you need?”

His heart sunk, as if he’d actually expected anything different. “No. Nothing.”

And Hel led him from his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments greatly appreciated!
> 
> I have a Twitter: [@FiveStillAlive1](https://twitter.com/FiveStillAlive1)
> 
> and a Dreamwidth: [FiveStillAlive](https://fivestillalive.dreamwidth.org/)


	27. Chapter 27

It turned out hiking through a mountain was more difficult without godly strength. Sometimes he even had to go around things!

But this river had to lead somewhere eventually, surely.

Father had banished him, not imprisoned him. He wouldn't have sent him to an empty world.

Surely.

Thor had shouted at Heimdall for a while, to no avail.

That hurt.

He didn't know where he was, or how he was going to get to Jotunheim, or get Loki, or get off Jotunheim with Loki, or where they'd go then. His power was stripped - blocked, technically, it was a part of him that couldn't be taken away - and Loki was trapped in a collar.

It was all going to make a great story when it was over. Epic. There would be ballads.

After many miles, he rounded a hill and a town came into view. Ha! Something going right!

Better yet, he knew this town! He was on Alfheim!

And somewhere in this town was a witch, who might be able to help him. If he could convince her to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh shit, y'all. I just realized earlier today that at some point I said these two were sixteen, or maybe I just said it was two years after when they were fourteen, I don't remember, but at the TIME I'd intended another time jump before things really started up....
> 
> This is not an underage fic, they are both entering adulthood. Thor was left in charge while Odin was gone, Loki's sexed and due to be married, they're young and stupid adults!
> 
> Uh... the magic of cinema, they're eighteen!
> 
> ... might go back and edit that a bit later.
> 
> \-----
> 
> Kudos and comments greatly appreciated!
> 
> I have a Twitter: [@FiveStillAlive1](https://twitter.com/FiveStillAlive1)
> 
> and a Dreamwidth: [FiveStillAlive](https://fivestillalive.dreamwidth.org/)


	28. Chapter 28

Loki lay in Hel’s bed, curled under a blanket. He could hear his brother in the next room.

He was so small, in this full sized bed. He felt like he could be lost in it.

What would it be like? To be a sweet little pet, curled warm in a bed until his lord came to…

He was so small. He would be stripped of all agency over himself, made helpless. Little would be expected of him, and he would be… kept.

Were men who liked runts pedophiles? They didn’t just like runt smallness, they liked them powerless. Runts were so often treated as almost children, pets, not really adults.

He could imagine spending his days cloistered, letting his mind fog over in helpless despair, melting into his lord’s gentle treatment, and enduring his… pleasures.

Maybe he would be allowed his studies. Maybe even small bits of freedom.

But over and over, the imagining came back. Waiting in a bed he was too small for, curled and warm and tense, waiting for his lord to come.

He pulled the blankets up to mostly cover his face.

Waiting, waiting, knowing what would be done to him, knowing no one would protect him, knowing anyone he went to for help would think that he should be there, waiting, childish, hiding from monsters beneath a blanket.

He took a deep breath, and forced himself out of bed, and the thoughts away.

It wouldn’t happen! He would escape before that! He would not allow that future!

He was not a child, he was not a pet, he would not stay here and endure this!

As he washed himself, he touched his collar.

He had managed to put what magic he had together into a device that, he thought, would unlock doors. Even high security doors, like those between him and their small collection of neglected ships.

He could get there, and with just a little head start, just a few minutes, he could take a ship and disappear and… somehow find Thor.

He had to be somewhere in the realms, and he was hardly the type to go unnoticed. Loki would just search the realms until he found him. A runt Jotun wandering around asking for a disowned Asgardian prince was bound to draw comment, making it that much easier for Thor to find him in turn.

He just needed a little time when he could disappear without raising immediate alarm.

Washed and dressed, he left Hel’s bedroom, and hesitated in the door. Hel had a guest.

“Loki! You remember Tynir!”

Oh. Loki’s nerves relaxed a bit. Tynir was in Hel’s hunting circle, they’d met many times, and he’d always been friendly. “Yes, of course. Hello, Lord Tynir.” He gave the polite nod appropriate from prince to lord.

“Hello, Loki, it’s been some time.”

Had it? Loki crossed the room to sit at the other end of the couch Hel was on, climbing into the furniture with a lifetime of practice. Hel kept runt furniture for him, but Loki didn’t use it when he had guests, not liking being below the level of conversation.

“Loki… Tynir is being considered by Father as your husband.”

What? Loki jerked his head around to look at Hel, then Tynir. No!

He’d imagined faceless lords, never considered that he knew most of the court, that he would know his husband!

“I know we have not spent a great deal of time together, but I have enjoyed your company in the past, and I hope you felt the same.” Tynir smiled at him.

Tynir! His brother’s friend! He had gotten books off high shelves for him, before he knew magic, he had laughed and seen him safely home when Loki had gone out with their circle and gotten drunk!

“Father would take your preference into account, if you expressed one.” Hel said, gently.

They were… asking Loki to put in a good word for him?

“You must know I would never hurt you, Loki. Nor would I keep you cloistered! You could join our circle, just as you would have if you were male, I would take your collar off, as soon as your father would allow it, you would have all the freedom you’re accustomed to!”

The words spilled out of Tynir eagerly, and he leaned forward, eyes bright on Loki.

And the treacherous thought crossed Loki’s mind.

That would… not be so bad.

It would be the life he had expected, before Thor. The life he had hoped for.

Except he would spend his nights being split by Tynir’s cock.

But… Tynir had always been kind to him, had never shown any desire for violence. He’d known, distantly, that Tynir liked runts, but he had never tried anything with Loki, even the common little aggressions others sent his way.

As if reading his mind, Tynir continued. “I would be gentle with you, Loki, I would-” His eyes flicked to Hel, and he blushed a bit. “I would want to please you.”

It would not be so bad. It might even be good. Surely the sex would not be so terrible, not that terrible, if his husband was gentle and patient…

No! He refused to entertain this thought! He refused to start considering how best to live his life here, how he wanted his future to be! He would not live here! He would have no future here!

On the other hand… It was possible he would not be able to escape before marriage. If he had to be married, even for a short time…

And perhaps, if he was showing a preference, if he was showing interest in his upcoming marriage, it would even help convince his father that he did accept his place here, and bring him that much closer to removing Loki’s collar.

… Besides, what if he never escaped, what if he stayed here forever, what if he stayed married and joined his brother’s circle and studied magic and-

No. He had chosen a different life, and any life here was a cage, no matter how pleasant. He would never be free if he stayed.

And, the thought whispered again, what if he couldn’t escape?

No. He would pretend to marry Tynir, perhaps, he would go through whatever motions were needed to not die here. But he would not live here.

He wouldn’t.

He wouldn’t.

“Thank you, Tynir.” he said finally, softly. “That… is a very enticing offer.”

Both Tynir and Hel lit into smiles.

“So you will tell Father of your preference?”

Loki nodded. “Yes, I… Yes, I will. I… Excuse me.”

He pushed off the couch, and fled with as much dignity as possible.

The second he was back in Hel’s bedroom, it overwhelmed him, and he leaned against the side of Hel’s bed to keep from falling.

It felt like staying. It felt like planning to stay. It felt like acceptance, like the inevitable acceptance of the forces of expectation and obedience.

He wouldn’t stay! He wouldn’t! He would find a way to escape, he would make his way to the ships, and his device would work to unlock the door, and he would escape! He wouldn’t stay!

He was crying. Sobbing, so it was hard to breathe. It seemed strangely detached from him, just a thing that was happening to his body. He watched his body struggle to breathe, to get its sobs under control.

He would not stay here.

There was a tapping on the window, and Loki looked up at it.

A… bird?

It tapped again, insistent. Still getting his breathing under control, Loki went out to the balcony, and the bird came to him.

It was not a bird. It was shadow only, insubstantial.

But it carried something. Loki took the little bag it offered him.

A lock of blond hair, tied in a ribbon.

Thor’s.

And, throat still tender from crying, Loki laughed. Thor! And this was no mere sign of affection - he had clearly found a magic user willing to help him, and getting Loki a lock of his hair would give them all sort of ways to connect to him!

The shadow bird had dissolved, so no chance to send Thor a lock in return, but no matter. Loki quickly braided the hair into his - no one knew anything of hair, he could say it was just another experiment with style.

He breathed in the cold air. He wouldn’t stay here.

He wasn’t alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That got long! :P
> 
> Kudos and comments greatly appreciated!
> 
> I have a Twitter: [@FiveStillAlive1](https://twitter.com/FiveStillAlive1)
> 
> and a Dreamwidth: [FiveStillAlive](https://fivestillalive.dreamwidth.org/)


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Violence/abuse toward the end of the chapter!

As Hel had said, Father had taken his preference into account. Tynir came from a good family, he was active in court; he would have been a reasonable candidate even without Loki’s input, and…

Loki had the strangest idea that Father felt a bit guilty for how his sexing had gone. That comment about him taking Thor’s fingers, and letting the doctor use two fingers on him, had been an unusual lapse in his self-control, a petty cruelty beneath a king.

Not that Father could not be cruel, of course. But when he was, it was deliberate, and for a purpose. It was the pettiness of it Father would regret.

In any case, Tynir was announced to be his betrothed. They would have a feast that very night, and they would be married the next day.

So soon? Loki had tried not to panic. This wasn’t real! He wasn’t actually getting married! He was engaged to Thor!

Perhaps, in the preparation, he would find time to slip away. Most weddings on Jotunheim were quite simple, compared to other realms, but a royal wedding was inevitably going to require some amount of fuss.

Thor had gotten a message to him, whispering through his lock of hair. He thought he had a way to get a ship, and come to Jotunheim, but it would take several days.

After the wedding.

None of this was real. A pretend wedding. None of this counted. Loki shuddered inside, reminding himself.

The feast happened, and he had no chance to slip away. He was barely able to get out of arm’s reach of Helblindi.

So he had sat at the high table, and tried not to look too panicked, as the celebration buzzed around him.

Tynir presented him with a freshly hunted glacier elk, an almost archaic gesture, an indication of his intention to serve Loki’s pleasure. He had put it at Loki’s feet and knelt until Loki had accepted the gift, and the gesture, and he beamed at Loki’s weak smile.

He was trying. It was like grinding glass into a wound.

Tynir sat on Loki’s other side, and eagerly made sure Loki had everything he could possibly want, without quite crossing the line into hovering.

Later, when everyone was mostly done eating, and conversation had grown relaxed, Tynir put a hand on his back, making him flinch and look up at Tynir in alarm.

Tynir smiled, with a ‘may I?’ question in it, and softly stroked the space between his shoulder blades.

Loki nodded, not sure himself if the move was consent or a spasm of fear, and quickly looked away, staring fixedly at his glass of water.

But… Tynir’s hands were gentle. It felt good to be touched so, when he was so tense, and he found himself actually relaxing, then even enjoying the contact, eyes slipping half-closed.

Disgusting. Like a tamed pet.

But oh, why shouldn't he let himself enjoy it? Did life here have to be utterly intolerable to justify his escape?

When the feast was over, and he was walking home with Helblindi, Hel gave him a teasing smile. “Not so bad to be getting married after all?”

And perhaps the words matched his own treacherous thoughts too well, the voice inside that wanted to accept a comfortable cage. Perhaps he just hated that Hel was trying to sooth his own conscience. The worlds brought immediate, sharp anger.

“No amount of kindness is going to make me big enough to take his cock. This time tomorrow I will be bleeding and crying in his bed!”

Hel stiffened. “Loki… I know that part will be unpleasant, but it's-”

“Nor does any kindness on his part undo the power he will have over me! Even if he never tries to restrict me, never uses his control over me, I will have to live with it there, looming over every choice I make!”

Hel sighed. “Little brother, sometimes you do not make the best choices. You need someone to… give you boundaries.”

Loki snarled, and for a moment was about to turn this into a proper screaming argument-

Then he remembered. He was pretending to be cowed by his rejection from Asgard. Pretending to know his place now. He made his shoulders drop, and looked away. “Perhaps you’re right.”

When they got back to Hel’s rooms, he crouched down beside Loki, smiling softly. “I am so glad you will be able to join our circle, little brother. I feared I would lose you, if you married someone strange.”

Loki dared a look at him. “I would have missed you too.” He would miss him, when he escaped.

But he was still going to escape.

And then, more easily than he’d expected, the chance came.

Hel, assured that Loki accepted his marriage, and pleasantly sated from the feast, went to bed first that night, leaving Loki alone in the sitting room, with no Helblindi between himself and the exit.

If that wasn't his chance to escape unfucked, he didn't know what was.

He checked that his magical lockpick was in his hair, and retrieved his guidebook from Hel’s bookshelf. He ran through his mental list of other things he might bring, but none were worth the delay or noise.

He slipped out the door, and hurried down the corridor. One of his passages started at the end of this hall, and would take him halfway to their ships.

He didn't even make it that far.

He didn't know if it was bad luck, or Hel was cleverer than he had thought, and had deliberately given him this chance to test him. But Hel burst out of his room before Loki made it thirty feet.

Loki tried to run for it. No one knew the passages, no one knew what led where-

His legs were too short by far. Helblindi caught him in seconds, scooped him up with one arm, and clapped a hand over his face, to keep him from crying out.

He wanted to laugh at the ridiculousness of it. Hel thought he would be so fearful, so incapable of thought, that he would cry out for help. And, even now, Hel was trying to protect him.

Hel heaved him back into his room, and tossed him on the couch.

“What do you think you are doing! Do you want to jeopardize this? Do you think Father will let you marry someone as lenient as Tynir if he knows you are still trying to run off?”

Panting, Loki stared up at Hel, not hiding the rage on his face.

“What is your plan? You’re just going to run off and WHAT, Loki? How do you plan to support yourself? To keep yourself safe? How will you survive?”

“I’ll figure it out!”

“You don’t have a plan!” Hel roamed back and forth, furious. “You’re being nothing but childish!”

“You think whoring myself out to a pervert with a runt kink is a good way to survive? That seems like a good plan to you!?”

“Tynir will give you a good life! He’s everything you could hope for! What more could you want! You’re female, brother, there’s no escaping that, and it’s no one’s fault, it just is! What better arrangement could you ask for than what Tynir has offered you?”

“Control over my own life!”

“You clearly can’t make your own decisions! You can’t see that this… this childish fear of sex is not worth throwing your life away!”

“CHILDISH FEAR!? I’m half his size!”

“You haven’t even given him a chance! And even if it is as bad as you think, you are an adult now, you must accept that sometimes you have to tolerate unpleasant things!”

Loki stood up on the couch, so he was at least nearly eye level with his brother. “I will tolerate unpleasant things of my own choosing, I will have consequences of my own choices, not those others make for me!” He wanted to scream at Hel. He wanted to beg for his help. “Let me go!”

“I will not have you go starve to death out in the wilds, I will not have you throw your life away! I care about you too much to let you destroy yourself!” He took a deep breath, and a look of resolve settled on his face. “If you’re going to behave as a child, you will be treated as one. And if you want the consequences of your own choices-”

Loki barely had time to recoil, to turn to run, then Hel had him, scooping his forearm around Loki’s hips. Loki flailed, and tried to regain his balance, but when he started to straighten up, Hel shoved him down again, keeping him bent over his arm. Then-

Loki shouted at the first blow, landing hard on his ass. Then another, and another.

Hel was SPANKING him. Like a child. Like a parody of a child.

And he was not holding back.

Loki howled as a forth blow landed.

“Stop, stop!”

“This is for your own good!” Hel said, voice tight. “If fear of pain is what motivates you, then keep this in mind next time you think of running!”

Loki lost count. Maybe ten blows. When Hel dropped him down onto the couch, he was sobbing.

He heard Hel take a shaky breath, and it made him want to run, to hide under furniture like the pet he hated to be, but pain was throbbing up him.

Hel stroked his hair, and he sounded like he was holding back tears. “I did it for your own good, Loki.”

He didn’t try to stop crying. What was the point? He let his body lay there, and do as it liked.

“I won’t tell anyone what you did tonight.” He heard Hel shift, then he was tucking a blanket Loki had always liked around him. “Do you want to sleep in bed with me, or out here tonight?”

Loki couldn’t speak, but he gathered enough of himself to curl away from Hel’s hand, just a bit, and Hel took that as an answer.

“Okay. I’m going to activate the leash on your collar, so you won’t be able to leave the couch. Is there anything you need before I go to bed?”

“No!” Loki choked out, hating him for trying to be kind, now.

“Okay.”

He didn’t even have it in him to flinch away from Hel’s fingers touching his collar, and the little wave of energy, as it invisibly tethered him to the couch.

Hel left him a glass of water in easy reach, and some tissues, then finally went to sleep.

Loki didn’t remember when crying turned into sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're... nearingish the end, so I should probably just surrender to a lot of these chapters being too long too tweet.
> 
> I've lost all control over this fic.
> 
> Kudos and comments greatly appreciated!
> 
> I have a Twitter: [@FiveStillAlive1](https://twitter.com/FiveStillAlive1)
> 
> and a Dreamwidth: [FiveStillAlive](https://fivestillalive.dreamwidth.org/)


	30. Chapter 30

"Loki?"

Thor kept his voice as soft as possible. He knew Loki had the lock of his hair braided near his own ear, but he hated to think what would happen if anyone else heard him.

"Thor." Loki's voice was... flat.

"Loki? Are you okay? Is it safe to talk?"

He heard Loki take a deep breath, as if gathering himself. "Yes. Hel's asleep in the next room."

"You're unguarded?"

"I'm leashed to the furniture like a dog. So yes."

"You're leashed?" He wanted to tear Loki's family apart.

"Hel caught me trying to escape."

"Are you hurt?"

Loki made a strange, strangled noise, something like a sob and a laugh. "Nothing that won't heal." Then, almost too quiet to hear, "Hel hit me. A... a few times."

"He beat you." Thor growled. "I'll kill him."

"Don't. I can't trust him anymore, but he's still the one who's always looked out for me. He just wants to keep me safe."

By hitting him.

"Thor... they're marrying me tomorrow."

Thor drew in a slow breath. They needed just a few more days! "Can you delay it? Tell them you're sick! I almost have a ship!"

He'd given the witch a bowlful of godly blood, and she'd gotten him this connection to Loki, and a token for the old woman across the valley. The old woman had agreed to repair and give him one of her old ships, but she needed a certain part. The gnome who could make it needed…

It had been a busy few days.

"Being sick might let me skip the celebration after, but not the marrying. There's barely even a ceremony; Father's mostly just going to sign a few forms with Tynir." Loki took a deep breath. "Thor... I don't know how to get out of this."

The admission filled Thor with terror. The knowledge that he didn't know either. That Loki was trapped there.

"Okay." He tried to sound calm. "If..." He didn't know what to say! "I'll be there in a few days. Loki, I'm sorry, I'll be there soon!"

"I know."

"And... my strength is blocked." He still had his training. But there was only so much that could do against giants. "Will you be able to get outside when I get there? Even a balcony!"

The fewer people he had to fight, the better.

"I think so. I'll figure something out!" Loki took a deep breath. "Thor, keep talking to me. I can't sleep."

"No one will catch you?"

"At worst, they'll think I'm talking to myself."

Well... true.

"Talk about what?"

"Anything. Distract me. What is Alfheim like?"

"It's..." He looked around the barn the old woman had let him sleep in. "Strange. Every fairytale could happen here. There are witches and elves and even dragons." He rambled on, just trying to distract Loki, even lure him to sleep.

Loki kept responding, awake, but his breathing eased. His voice relaxed. "What other realms have you been to?"

All of them. Thor told Loki about the dwarves, the dark elves, the mortals...

"Thor... What would you do to me if I were with you?"

That startled a short laugh out of him. "Are you never sated, prince?"

"Not on you. Mmm, I love your voice."

"I miss you, but this is no time-"

"I may not be properly alone again until you get here. And it will help me sleep. Please, Prince Thor?"

Thor looked around the barn again, as if he might have missed someone.

No one. He was quite alone.

"If you were here, I would not be able to stop kissing you."

"Not at all? Even when I pulled your shirt off?"

"All the more, then."

As always, as ever, Loki was not shy with his wants, and soon Thor was blushing, feeling inelegant, and trying to keep up with Loki's tongue.

Loki made sex sound like poetry.

He wove images of Loki at his feet, lips red and warm, parted slightly in want for Thor's cock. Then he changed stories with a moan, and said he would sit on Thor's face, hold him in place by his hair, and feel his tongue on every part of him!

Thor wished that was what they were doing - his tongue was better suited to the task than the telling! He said he would lick Loki "a lot", because apparently he was an idiot, incapable of speech, said he would taste him, touch him…

But it seemed to please Loki, who was breathing faster, voice urgent, getting close.

"Would you hold my hand?" Loki gasped, sounding like a plea.

"What?" Thor was rubbing his cock, trying not to come yet, not just yet!

"My left hand!" Loki was close, Thor could almost feel him. "Where you put your ring! I'm still wearing it, I want you, please Thor, I want your fingers wound through mine, oh please-"

Oh... "Fuck, Loki, yes, yes, I'd hold your hand, I wouldn't let go!"

Loki moaned. "Thor..."

Thor pushed into his own hand. "I'd kiss each of your fingers, I'd-" Oh fuck, fuck! "I love you!"

Loki's sharp gasp could only be orgasm, and Thor peaked a moment later, gasping Loki's name.

Loki's voice was soft and relaxed. "Stay with me." he whispered.

"All night." Thor promised.

"I love you."

Loki lapsed into quietness, breath evening.

Thor whispered that he loved him, every few seconds, until he was sure Loki was asleep. Then, he let sleep take him as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Friggin' horny teenagers.
> 
> Kudos and comments greatly appreciated!
> 
> I have a Twitter: [@FiveStillAlive1](https://twitter.com/FiveStillAlive1)
> 
> and a Dreamwidth: [FiveStillAlive](https://fivestillalive.dreamwidth.org/)


	31. Chapter 31

Then it was the day he was being married.

His body ran on autopilot. It picked formal clothes, and enough jewelry that Thor's ring would not stand out. It laid them out, and then it washed itself. It stood still as Hel gently combed its hair. It nodded and made appropriate noises as Hel talked, trying to fill the silence and undo the night before.

He reattached for a few moments, and tried to twist in the mirror, to see if he was visibly bruised. He did not want Tynir’s first impression on seeing him naked to be that he was something that could be hit.

He couldn’t tell. No amount of twisting in the mirror gave him a good view.

“What are you doing, little brother?”

“Am I bruised?”

Hel was silent a moment. “You will heal soon.” His voice was soft, guilty.

“But am I bruised? I can’t tell!” Tynir would see! Even if he was here only a few days, the thought of being struck again made his chest tighten, his heart race, made him want to hide.

“It's nothing that won't be covered, once you've dressed.”

“But Tynir will see!” It wasn't real, he was only pretending, none of this counted, he wasn't really here! But it felt real. Real, and closing over him. “He’ll see, and he’ll know he’s allowed to hit me! He’ll know being a prince doesn't mean anything, he’ll know even you won't object, because you-” No, no, his throat was closing, he was suffocating in this panic. “He’ll know I’m-” Less. Not worthy of the protection of society. Not really a person. But he probably knew already. He was going to rape him, was going to hold him down and fuck into his too small body, and use him for pleasure, and Loki's own family was going to force Loki to be with him! “He’ll see!”

Hel was kneeling by him, hands fluttering helplessly. “Shhh, no, no. Loki, it’s only a little bruising; we’ll take you to the healers right after you’ve dressed! Okay?”

Now Hel was treating him like a child, crying over a scraped knee. Offer them a cookie and they’ll forget they were ever upset. As if he didn’t have good reason to panic.

But Loki felt like a child. Helpless and frightened. He nodded weakly at Hel’s offer.

He continued to shift between being on the verge of tears and detaching from himself, watching his body go through its motions on its own.

He was at the healer, hearing Helblindi vaguely deter questions about his bruises. He was meeting with Father, being told that, after speaking with Hel, he would not be allowed to have his collar removed until he was pregnant, which would surely anchor him to his place - perhaps Hel had told him some lessened version of Loki’s escape attempt.

He was outside the throne room, being pulled aside by Hel.

“Loki, wait.” Hel crouched down to his level. “I am sorry for what I did to you last night. I worry for your safety, I want to protect you, and then I hurt you. There is no excuse for what I did. Please, before you get married, before you are more his spouse than my brother, please forgive me.”

And it was Hel. Hel, who had always looked out for him, protected him, cared for him as no one else in his family, or his entire realm, had. Loki stepped forward and hugged him, as well as his small arms could. “Of course, brother. But I could never belong more to him than to you.”

Hel’s sigh of relief was ragged and heartfelt.

And Loki didn’t plead with him again to be allowed to run. He knew he would refuse, and he did not want to hate Hel after he escaped. Before their hug even ended, Loki had retreated again, far from his body, numbly watching it be taken into the throne room.

He was standing before the throne dias, hearing the details of their marriage contract. Tynir had paid well for him. Even for a valued female runt, even for the entrance into the royal family he came with, Tynir had agreed to quite an arrangement.

A favor to Hel, who would want to protect him from an unknown male? Or had Tynir been harboring an affection for him, as he’d spent time with their circle?

Tynir liked runts.

The contracts were signed. Tynir knelt to be at his level, a deliberate gesture of respect, and held his hand out to Loki.

Loki watched his body, unmoving, disconnected. Tynir was not taking his hand. He was waiting for Loki to give it. A thin veneer of choice, when Loki had none, but a thoughtful gesture, he supposed.

What would happen if he didn't reach out?

He would be punished. He would lose what little freedom he had. He had to be able to get outside in a few days, when Thor came.

He reached his hand out, and put it in Tynir's. Tynir drew it to his lips for a kiss, and they were declared married.

Oh no, no…

He didn't remember much. Then he was at the feast, another feast, to celebrate their marriage.

Parties before a marriage were cheerful but relaxed, calm. Parties after were loud and drunk, raucous things.

Loki realized at some point that he was tipsy. That Tynir and Hel were both pressing alcohol on him. That he was tense with fear, almost trembling, but clinging now to Tynir's side. Tynir was stroking his shoulders, but Loki could not relax.

When Tynir tried to give him another glass of wine, Loki put up a hand and leaned away, and almost fell from the bench. Tynir steadied him, and pulled him even closer.

“I don't want any more.” he murmured, trying not to slur. “I’ll get sick.”

Tynir put it back on the table. “Of course. I only…” He lowered his voice, looking concerned. “It would help you to relax. I know you are nervous about tonight.”

Another shudder ran through him. “I’ll have more in a little while.” He looked away, and had to use both hands to hold the water Tynir gave him instead.

Tynir's voice was a buzz. The party around them a meaningless drone. Loki stared into his cup of water, as the noise around him seemed to fade to an indistinguishable grey static.

“Loki!”

Loki stiffened, but stopped himself from jerking up. Thor!

“Loki, I found some fairies, they have some kind of grudge, or maybe they just think it’ll be funny, they want to raid Jotunheim, and we’re on our way! We’ll be there in just a few hours!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments greatly appreciated!
> 
> I have a Twitter: [@FiveStillAlive1](https://twitter.com/FiveStillAlive1)
> 
> and a Dreamwidth: [FiveStillAlive](https://fivestillalive.dreamwidth.org/)


	32. Chapter 32

“Loki? Can you talk? Are you alone?”

“Tynir.”

Tynir turned to him, with a surprised smile, apparently cheered by Loki asking for his attention.

“Ah… Can you pass the bread?”

That broke his smile into a grin, and Loki realized he hadn't been eating. Tynir selected the best roll with care, and put it on his untouched plate. “Of course, sweetling.” He kissed Loki's hair, lightly. “Do you want the butter?”

Loki shook his head, looking down again, but nibbling on the roll.

Thor's voice continued, cautiously soft. “Okay. When we get there, the fairies are going to start a bunch of chaos. Can you get outside?”

“How long…” He cleared his throat, while Tynir looked back at him. “How long have you known Hel?”

Tynir looked thrilled. Now Loki was making conversation, on top of eating!

Tynir started talking about meeting Hel, but Loki toned it out, listening for Thor’s whisper.

“Three hours, maybe only two.”

Two hours. Maybe three. And the feast was already over its peak. Tynir would probably be taking him away soon.

“I’ll update you when I can.” Thor whispered, then the faint background noise of his connection was gone.

Loki took a deep breath, trying to think how to stall. How to hide. Anything to buy a few hours. The wine wasn’t helping, but the shock of Thor’s news helped him focus.

“Tynir.” He put his hand on Tynir’s thigh. “I… I do not think I have been fair to you.”

Tynir ran his hand soothingly over Loki’s shoulder. “I know you didn’t want this, or even have time to adjust.”

“No, but…” Loki looked down, demurely. “You have been very kind. I caused a lot of trouble, and might have expected much worse punishment than marriage to a friend, who has never done anything to hurt me.”

Tynir smiled at him.

“You have been kind, and I know you will be a good husband, and will take care of me always, and… I even…” He bit his lip, and blushed. “If you were truly gentle with me, if we went slow enough…” He squirmed. “It’s not as if I’ve never thought about…”

Tynir seemed overjoyed. “I would be so gentle with you! I want to please you, Loki, truly I do.”

But he was willing not to.

Loki squashed the thought. It was not in character. “I… I need a little more time, Tynir. To adjust to thinking of you in this way. To… stop being frightened of you. Can we stay here longer?”

“Of course!”

Then, trying to hide his nerves - his fear - Loki watched his body climb into Tynir’s lap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear, this fic ends eventually!  
> \- me to me
> 
> Kudos and comments greatly appreciated!
> 
> I have a Twitter: [@FiveStillAlive1](https://twitter.com/FiveStillAlive1)
> 
> and a Dreamwidth: [FiveStillAlive](https://fivestillalive.dreamwidth.org/)


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, my favorite writing keyboard broke! *falls into bottomless pit of doom*

There were some drunken hoots, and cheering. Loki tucked himself in close to Tynir’s chest, looking shyly at the rowdy party.

Of course, a tamed, cuddly runt was a desired thing, what everyone who wanted a runt wanted them to be. Trusting and sweet.

He let himself relax slowly, slowly, portioning out progress to keep Tynir happy, and patient.

First making himself stop tensing up at Tynir’s every move. Then talking with him more freely, and those at their table - his circle, Hel’s circle; Loki knew them all, and was soon able to catch the familiar flow of their conversation. They were almost family.

And every one of them looked cheerful at Loki’s behavior.

“Loki, we hear you’re to join our circle after all!”

Loki smiled, almost comfortably, and nodded. “I am very fortunate Tynir proposed to me.” Well. Expressed interest and asked his approval.

“Good! You’re always fun! When will you be getting that collar off, so you can do magic again?”

Loki blushed, and pressed closer to Tynir.

Tynir soothed him. “I will take it off as soon as the king allows. He says not until Loki is pregnant, but that could take years, so I hope to convince him sooner.”

Such concern. Was he being too naive to hope they did at least care something for his dignity? Or was he too cynical, thinking it was because he was a less entertaining pet without his tricks?

Loki doled out more signs of comfort and pleasure with Tynir, sighing happily at Tynir gently running his fingers down Loki’s back, taking the food Tynir passed him.

A few times, Thor whispered in his ear. An hour left. Forty minutes. Thirty.

Some left for bed, as the night lengthened, and many came to offer a final congratulations on their way out. Father left, and he was not the only one to relax at that. Then Byleistr, with his spouse, only nodding respectfully to Tynir as he passed. Hel looked tired, but would not be leaving, it seemed. The few of their circle who remained drifted to a dice game at another table, and Hel, after looking over to check on Loki went with them.

Hel did not usually hover so. Was he worried Tynir would hurt him, or that he would try to escape again?

Tynir raised Loki’s hand to his mouth, and kissed the inside of his wrist, which made Loki shiver in a not entirely unpleasant way. “Are you… ready for bed, sweet?”

Ah, now that shudder was unpleasant. “Not yet, Tynir, please, a little longer. You’re… I’ve been afraid of this for so long.” He shifted his seat in Tynir’s lap, cuddling more intimately against him. “What, ah… what did you have in mind, for tonight?”

Tynir rose an eyebrow.

Loki turned in Tynir's lap to face him, legs spreading wide, wide, to straddle him, and smiled. Flirtatiously. “I mean, specifically. You said you wish to please me. Just what, my husband, did you have in mind?”

Tynir cleared his throat, and glanced around, but no one was close enough to hear them, if they kept their voices low. “I thought I’d start with giving you a massage, since I knew you'd be nervous.”

“Oh? And now that I am not so nervous, do I not get a massage?”

“I will give you one every night, if you like.”

So eager. He was tripping over himself to prove… what, exactly? Did he feel guilt? Or was he merely worried that a hostile runt would not fulfil his sex-pet fantasies?

“Mmm… And then what, husband, did you have in mind after that?”

Tynir chuckled, and ran his hands up Loki’s thighs. They looked so small under his touch. “I would rather show you.”

Loki wilted, and cast his eyes down. “Oh. I thought…”

“Oh, no, what is it, sweet?” He cupped Loki’s cheek, but Loki pulled away, and stared down at his hands, wringing them together. “Loki…”

“You don’t like…” He blushed. “No, of course…”

“Shh, sweet, what is it?”

Looking down at his hands meant looking down, inevitably, into Tynir’s lap. And the way Loki was sitting had pulled Tynir’s garment tight against him. Tight enough that it was impossible not to notice a firming shape beneath.

He was becoming aroused at Loki’s submissive timidity. A shudder of fear ran through him.

He pushed it aside. Tried to focus on the story he was weaving. “You… know that I like stories.” He’d often entertained Hel’s circle. “I… I like words. I like… I’ve… read all the romances in the library, and I’ve even written a few, just… for myself. I always thought… to hear a lover speak to me so…”

Tynir made a soft noise of surprise. Had he not considered that Loki might have his own desires? “Oh. Yes?”

Loki shifted a bit in Tynir’s lap, a subtle, bratty movement, inviting Tynir to appease him. He hoped, anyway. “I find words romantic. And…” He cast his eyes back up to Tynir. “Exciting.”

Tynir chuckled, and his hands on Loki’s thighs went to his hips, and bumped him a bit closer. “Ha! I have married a troublesome little thing! You had me believing your shyness! I should not have thought a sexing and a marriage would change your personality so! You were always a trickster!”

That… wasn’t the reaction he’d anticipated, but the key to a good lie was to let the other fill in as many details as possible. He dropped his timid posture, and smirked up at Tynir. “I was wondering how far I could lead you!” He leaned forward, and spread his hand on Tynir’s chest, with an appreciative noise. “But that was no lie; I like words. And now you know you will not shock me.”

“By the sound of it, you may shock me!” He looked pleased, though. “Perhaps you should tell me your desires for our wedding night, instead? I will do my utmost to fulfill them.” One of his hands curled more intimately around Loki’s hip.

Oh, Thor, hurry…

“My desires?” He laughed, softly. “Well. I’ve certainly had fantasies enough.” And that was true. The prospect of marriage had always been a source of fear but… late at night… well, he had a body with needs, same as anyone. He thought quickly back to the runt porns he had watched, with a mix of horror and horniness, telling himself it was research, and tried to craft a fantasy Tynir would like. But he was playing a sexually forward runt, and none of those videos had shown anything like that! The runts were frightened and begging, or sweet and obedient, getting some kind of mysterious satisfaction from being good pets for their lords.

“I have many times imagined what it would be like to have a husband use his tongue on me. How I would writhe and moan with pleasure, and call his name, and beg for more.”

Tynir groaned, softly. The shape beneath his clothes was increasingly distinct, and Loki stared a moment too long before remembering he must hide his horror. It had to be the size of his forearm, at least!

“Oh my, Tynir. Look at you.” He hoped his fear looked like excitement. He rose up on his knees so that his chest was an inch from Tynir’s, and his face not too much lower. “I’d barely be able to fit your tip in my mouth.”

Tynir drew in a sharp breath.

“Loki! We’re close, less than five minutes! Can you get outside?”

Thor!

And in his moment of distraction, he did not notice in time Tynir’s hand cupping the back of his head, and tilting him up for a kiss.

He managed to strangle his cry, and restrict his panicked struggle to a convulsive clawing of his hand. No! He was too small, Tynir was pushing his tongue into Loki’s mouth, he wasn’t big enough, he would gag on it, he couldn’t stop his body from spasming with attempts to squirm away, when Tynir drew his tongue back and pushed it, showly, back in, he couldn’t get his head free of Tynir’s grip, it was in his throat, in his throat! He mustn’t show his panic, he mustn’t, he must not!

His next spasm of his arm, trying to push away from Tynir’s chest, he redirected into a sudden lunge to wrap his arm around Tynir’s neck.

Tynir finally let him breathe, and nuzzled his cheek to murmur in his ear. “Your mouth is lovely, sweet, but not where I intend to put that.”

Loki shuddered. Perhaps it could pass for a lustful reaction. “I-” Oh no, no, no, please don’t touch me, don’t touch, don’t touch! “Per-” He took a desperate breath. “Perhaps it is time we go to bed, dear husband.” And if his voice sounded tight, Tynir did not seem to notice, as his smile lit up.

“I think so.” His hands were on Loki, hungry, possessive, as if they had every right to be there.

“I, ah… Let me go say goodnight to Hel.” He tried to detangle himself from Tynir’s lap.

“I will come with-”

“Tynir.” His voice came out sharp, not brooking argument, and Tynir’s mouth snapped shut.

Ha. If he had had to stay, if this had been real, how long would it have taken him to have complete control of poor, eager-to-please Tynir? It was a comforting thought.

“He is my brother. He has looked out for me all my life, and now I am yours to look out for. I need a few moments with him. To thank him, to…” He sighed. “Besides,” he glanced pointedly down into Tynir’s lap. “You’re in no state to get up right this moment.”

Tynir coughed uncomfortably. “Ah. No, perhaps not.” He let Loki go.

Hel was sitting just a dozen or so feet from the large doorway to the North patio. The patio had stairs leading to the garden. If Thor’s fairies were truly intending to cause a distraction, he would need only moments to flee, and disappear into the darkness. The doors were not even closed, in this fine weather.

He went to Hel’s side, nearest the door, and put his hand on his arm, and-

Suddenly found he had so much to say to him.

He was not going off to his wedding bed, to be hurt, but sure to see Hel tomorrow. He would not join Hel’s circle. He would never see his brother again. He was angry at him, betrayed by him, but… he would never see him again, and his throat tried to close at the thought. He felt tears well in his eyes.

“Loki?”

“Hel, I-” He swallowed. “I wanted… Thank you. You’ve always taken care of me. I know that. I don’t know if I would have lasted this long without you. I don’t know if I ever would have made it to adulthood. I wanted you to know I’ll be okay.”

“Oh, Loki…” Hel abandoned his friends' game, and slid out of his chair to kneel at Loki’s level. He didn’t seem to know what to say.

Loki didn’t care. He would remember Loki’s words later, and hopefully he would understand that Loki was safe, happy, better anywhere but here. He hugged his brother, getting his arms around his neck, and Hel hugged him back.

“If he-” Hel sounded a bit choked up himself. “He won’t hurt you, Loki, he won’t. But if he… if he misuses you, in any way…”

A wet laugh got past his throat. What did Hel think was going to happen? Did he think that if Tynir just spoke softly enough, and went slowly enough, then somehow his cock would fit? But it didn’t matter, Loki wasn’t going to his marriage bed. Not if those fairies hurried up and got here in time. He just hugged Hel tighter. “Oh, I’ve got Tynir under control, I think. Wrapped around my finger already.”

Hel laughed. “Oh yeah?”

“I love you, brother.” He let him go, slowly. His home. His family. Hel was the only one that mattered in all of it. Hel was his home and family.

But Loki could not live here.

There was a crashing sound. A bright flair of light, as if something exploded, and a primal howl.

Dozens, hundreds of small fairies streamed through the open doorway. Loki caught a glimpse of a larger one, bigger than him, zooming by outside.

There was shouting, benches and tables knocking over, as drunk and sleepy partiers jumped to their feet. An explosion cracked the roof, and started a fire.

Hel, instinctively, tried to hold him safely close, to shield him, but even he was distracted by a drove of descending fairies, and Loki was able to twist free.

And run.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments greatly appreciated!
> 
> I have a Twitter: [@FiveStillAlive1](https://twitter.com/FiveStillAlive1)
> 
> and a Dreamwidth: [FiveStillAlive](https://fivestillalive.dreamwidth.org/)
> 
> and technically a Tumblr: [RunnerFiveStillAlive](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/runnerfivestillalive), but all I do is post when I put something up on AO3, anymore.


	34. Chapter 34

“Loki!” Hel’s frantic shout followed him out the door, but he was running, flinging himself down the garden steps. He didn't have to get far, just into the darkness, where he could evade pursuit!

He heard Tynir, yelling, heard Hel again, heard snatches. They seemed to think the loud noises and sudden attack had simply panicked him into a mindless flee.

Then they were after him, voices clearer already, as they easily closed the distance covered by Loki's short legs.

“We have to find him! If he's gone into one of his cracks or tunnels, if there's a collapse-”

“Loki!” Tynir called, urgently. “Loki, come back, come inside!”

“There! Loki!”

Hel spotted him, and then they were both after him, and Loki couldn't spare an instant to look. He didn’t dare turn his head, could barely take in the chaos around him, barely understand the fairies of all different sizes, rocketing all different directions.

He certainly didn't notice a fairy at the top of one of the towers. Didn't notice them smash a chunk of the tower off, sending pieces of stone and ice sloughing off, and plummeting toward his path.

Toward him.

“LOKI!”

Didn't notice, until he was knocked to the ground by Hel’s body, as Hel flung himself over Loki to protect him. Didn't notice, until the rubble crashed down onto them.

Onto Hel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still sadly keyboardless :(
> 
> Kudos and comments greatly appreciated!
> 
> I have a Twitter: [@FiveStillAlive1](https://twitter.com/FiveStillAlive1)
> 
> and a Dreamwidth: [FiveStillAlive](https://fivestillalive.dreamwidth.org/)
> 
> and technically a Tumblr: [RunnerFiveStillAlive](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/runnerfivestillalive), but all I do is post when I put something up on AO3, anymore.


	35. Chapter 35

“H- Hel?”

His head was ringing. His eyes wouldn't focus. Then they would, but the world was dancing, zooming colors. A larger fairy landed a bit in front of them, in Loki's swimming line of sight, stumbled a bit, tossed back a chug of alcohol, and howled primally at the night sky, before flitting off. There were answering howls in the distance, in every direction.

“Hel?!”

He struggled to climb out from under his brother, until Hel groaned, and lifted his shoulder to let him escape.

Oh thank the ancestors, he was alive.

“Hel?” He wriggled free, and turned to see his brother. He was half buried. There was blood on the ice. “Hel! Wake up! Look at me! Are you hurt?”

Stupid question.

Tynir caught up with them, looking somewhat battered and bloodied himself. He cursed when he saw Hel. “Loki, come here! We have to get help!”

“Go get help! I’m staying with him!”

“No! It's too dangerous! You must-”

“I’m staying!” Loki snarled, with such ferocity that it froze Tynir's words. Tynir stared at him for a moment, then turned, and rushed back toward the palace.

Hel groaned, coming around. “You really do have him under control.” He laughed, though it sounded painful.

“Hel!” Loki gasped with relief, and stroked his face, wiping some of the crumbled stone dust away. “Are you okay?”

“I think so, but it's hard to tell. But there is nothing you can do, Loki, get inside!”

A small group of fairies shot by, yelling crude words, to remind them they were not in a place of safety.

He… could run.

There was nothing he could do. Tynir was fetching help. He could make clean his escape, now, and find Thor.

As if to convince him, Thor's voice was suddenly in his ear. “Loki! Where are you? I can't find you in all this chaos!”

“I’m in a garden on the North side of the castle! But Hel’s hurt; I can't leave him until help gets here!”

He couldn't. He'd never be able to live with himself. He'd never sleep another night, if he left Hel alone, trapped, like this.

“Loki? Who are you talking to?”

“Hel? The one who beat me up?” Thor let out a heavy breath. “Okay, I’m getting our ship as close as I can.”

Loki nodded, sighing relief. “As soon as I see help coming, I’ll run to meet you. They won't think to chase me until it's too late.”

“Loki! Who is that!?” Hel’s voice was sharp, and Thor's was gone. “Who are you talking to?”

Loki took a slow breath, and turned to meet his brother's eyes. “I’m… not going back inside, Hel. Not ever.”

“What are you talking about?” Hel sounded angry. Like he had a guess.

“These fairies… They're here for me. Thor convinced them to come so he could get me.”

“Loki…” Hel growled.

“I can't stay, brother. I can't be Tynir's pet. I can't live as some kind of beloved sex toy. And that's assuming he never turns on me!”

“You can't just run off, and avoid your responsibilities-”

“My responsibility to be a trading token for Father? My responsibility to keep Tynir's bed warm?”

“You won't survive out there!”

Loki leaned forward, and put a kiss on his brother's forehead. He would miss him so terribly. “I won't survive here. Please, brother, can't you understand?”

A ship passed overhead, slow and low, circling for a landing. Loki looked up at it, and smiled.

“No!” Hel’s free arm rose, awkward at his half-buried angle, and reached toward him. Loki saw it, and tried to scramble away, but not in time, and Hel caught his ankle. Hel began to drag him closer.

“Hel! Let go!”

“No.” he growled. “A broken leg will heal, but it will stop you from running!”

“Hel!” And he could see. Hel was trying to drag him close enough for his second, half buried arm to get a grip on Loki, so he could snap his leg in two. “Hel, let go!”

He kicked Hel in the face, panic growing, and for just a moment Hel’s grip loosened, and Loki was able to turn to escape, but then his hand closed on him again, and Loki was simply being dragged on his front. He clawed at the ground, strewn with rubble and ice. “Let go! Let go!”

And his hand closed on a sharp, jagged shard of ice.

“Loki! There wasn't enough room to land right near you, so I’m right outside the garden. I’m coming in!”

“Hel, let go!” He was dragging him closer and closer, partially under his chest now, almost to his trapped arm. “Let me go!”

“I will not,” Hel grunted, “let you throw your life away! I love you too much for that!”

Jagged shard in hand, Loki twisted back, and stabbed the shard down into Hel’s throat.

Hel made a strangled, croaking noise, and either out of determination or mindless panic, squeezed harder on Loki's leg, and dragged him closer still.

“Let me go!” he snarled, and stabbed the shard in again.

And again.

And again.

“Let me go! Let me go! Let me go!”

Then Hel’s grasp slackened, and Loki didn't even bother yanking himself away.

Hel was dead.

He stared at his brother.

His protector.

His corpse.

“This way!”

He looked up, and saw Tynir.

Tynir saw him.

They stared at each other.

Loki stood up.

Tynir stared.

Loki started backing his way toward the end of the garden. Not the slow, cautious movements of prey, hoping not to cause their predator to lunge.

He was just

Leaving.

The help Tynir had brought caught up with him, just as Thor came up on him from behind.

Thor caught his arm. “Loki, come o- oh, shit.”

Thor looked from Loki, blood soaked, to the garden, blood-streaked, taking in the scene in full.

Tynir and the help he had brought - two others from his circle, Hel’s circle - were frozen, doing the same.

“Loki…” Tynir breathed.

Thor tugged on his arm. “Come on!”

They ran.

“I don't have my collar off.”

“I still have my power blocked.”

They hurried into the ship. Thor jumped into the pilot seat, and took off.

Loki didn't know where they were going.

But it would be their choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE END!
> 
> It was TIME to wrap it up. Loki slipped SO between the cracks here. If I'd finished chapter 31 half a day earlier, boy was gettin' raped. As I was writing this chapter, my brain started up with "WHAT IF HE'S BEEN HALUCINATING THOR'S VOICE!?!?"
> 
> So, some behind-the-scenes commentary no one asked for:
> 
> When I thought of him killing Hel, the first way that sprung to mind would be to have him kill Hel to save Thor. It seemed the formulaic solution.
> 
> But I hate when movies do that. It feels so Token. "Sure, Character A has been crying the whole story waiting for Character B to rescue them, but then at the end she Found The Strength To Save Character B! Equality!"
> 
> 1) Loki doesn't need to see Thor threatened to find strength. Loki has a sense of self-worth.
> 
> 2) Thor isn't saving Loki. Loki is saving himself. Thor is his supportive boyfriend, here to give him a ride.
> 
> Thanks for reading! ❤️❤️❤️
> 
> \-----
> 
> Kudos and comments greatly appreciated!
> 
> I have a Twitter: [@FiveStillAlive1](https://twitter.com/FiveStillAlive1)
> 
> and a Dreamwidth: [FiveStillAlive](https://fivestillalive.dreamwidth.org/)
> 
> and technically a Tumblr: [RunnerFiveStillAlive](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/runnerfivestillalive), but all I do is post when I put something up on AO3, anymore.


End file.
